Scalp First, Ask Questions Later

(I’m walking around the mall. As I walk past the kiosk, one of the saleswomen comes up BEHIND me and sticks the vibrating head massager on my scalp.)

Me: *shrieks* “What do you think you’re doing?!”

Saleswoman: “Doesn’t that feel great on your scalp?”

Me: “No! I don’t like things that vibrate! And why would you run up and stick that ON MY HEAD! I don’t know who else’s head that been on!”

Saleswoman: “I thought if you felt how great it feels, you’d be interested in buying it.”

Me: “So you honestly thought it was a good idea to come up BEHIND someone and stick something on their head without asking them?”

Saleswoman: “I thought you’d like it!”

Me: “…”

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