Saying Bi To This Friendship

(It is shortly after David Bowie died.)

Friend: “Did you know David Bowie was gay?”

Me: “I thought he was bisexual?”

Friend: “That just means gay. Bisexuals don’t exist. It’s just people scared of coming out.”

Me: *muttering to myself* “I guess I don’t exist then.”

Friend: “[MY NAME], YOU’RE GAY!?”

(Thus began a month of her trying to set me up with every man who so much as glanced at me, even while we were out with my fiancée, who is a woman. I’ve since stopped talking to her, but she hasn’t gotten the hint yet.)

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