Say My Name, Say My Name

, , , | Legal | November 30, 2019

(We get a few computer scammers, but my husband usually answers. Today, I get the scammer.)

Me: “Hello?”

Scammer: *starts a spiel about how our computer came up in a report for infected computers*

Me: “Really? That’s amazing that you can do that.” *shooing my son away to concentrate on the call*

Scammer: “Ma’am, I need you to open [program].” *call quality is spotty*

Me: “Hold on, I’ll try to get that up.” *aside to son* “Not now, just a minute!”

Scammer: “Ma’am, are you playing with your child? You really need to pay attention, because your computer is at risk.”

Me: “Okay, no. This is not serious, you are trying a scam on me. The program you want me to pull will show me errors you say are viruses.”

Scammer: “No, no. We have a report that your machine is sending out viruses to others—”

Me: “Okay, what’s my computer name?”

Scammer: “What?”

Me: “What’s my computer name? If you are getting reports and can trace it back to me, you obviously have some identifying information. So I assume you know my computer name.”

Scammer: “Look, ma’am, you need to take this seriously. This puts computers at risk—”

Me: “Why, so you can access my files remotely? Tell me my computer name, and we’ll do business.”

Scammer: “This is serious security!”

Me: “What is my computer name?”

Scammer: *click*

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