I Say Allergic, You Say Tomato

(I call up my local pizza restaurant with an odd request.)

Me: “Hi, umm, for whatever reason I’ve developed an allergy to tomatoes. I’m just wondering if there is anything I can order, pizza-wise, which won’t include any?”

Employee: *perfectly helpful* “Sure. Just order whatever you like and I’ll make sure it doesn’t have tomatoes on it.”

Me: “Oh, thank you.” *gives order*

(I wait an hour and a half for my pizza. When it arrives, I don’t think to check it until after I pay. The box is stone cold and lighter than I expect. When I open it, there is what looks to be one whole tomato, finely sliced and arranged in a circle. “Enjoy” is written in marker in the middle. I phone up, furious, to complain. I get the same woman.)

Me: “Yes, I’d like to complain about my order.”

Employee: *now harsh and sarcastic* “Oh, tomato guy. Just go jump off a bridge. Like I’m going to go out of my way to help someone like you!”

Me: “Well, I want to speak to the own—”

Employee: *hangs up*

(I emailed the owner and he assured me it would be handled. I know the woman was fired, but I was never compensated for the terrible service. I don’t use them anymore.)