When Sax-ing Is Taxing

(I sometimes volunteer my time to teach kids how to play the saxophone. I’ve been playing the instrument for almost seven years, and have learned many music techniques. I am helping a kid, who’s about thirteen years old, with the basics of playing, and up until now she has been very polite to me.)

Me: “All right. The first thing to do is to press these two fingers down for A for four counts.”

Kid: “SHUT UP! I know how to play this instrument.”

(She then takes the saxophone from me and begins to play the wrong notes.)

Me: “That’s not the right note. You need to press down those—”

Kid: “I KNOW how to play! I bet you don’t even play this instrument!”

Me: *trying to stay polite* “Actually, I’ve played for many years and—”

Kid: “LIAR!”

Me: *still trying to stay polite* “I can assure you that—”

(Before I could finish the sentence, she threw the saxophone at my head and stormed out, talking about quitting this instrument and music altogether. Luckily, she had terrible aim, but the sax was extremely damaged. We had to call her parents in order to repair it. Sadly, they were just like her, though we did get them to repair it eventually.)