Saw His Streak And Eggs

I work the front desk of an economy hotel. It had been a busy week and an even more hectic Saturday. The lobby was packed with guests eating breakfast and housekeepers getting started. I was busy with checkouts and my manager, operations manager, and maintenance manager were in the back office. There was a sudden bang from the elevator; it sounded like a gun had gone off.

I’d had my head down so I had no idea what was happening. The managers came flying out of the office, looking panicked. I just pointed and said, “Elevator,” as the doors closed. They took off to the upper floors to see where it had stopped.

In the meantime, a housekeeper was standing in the lobby with a shocked look on her face saying nothing. The CFO of our company came in and asked me, “Where’s the naked fat guy that just ran in here?” Dumbfounded, I pointed and said again, “Elevator.” She, in turn, headed for the stairs.  

Remember the housekeeper? She had recovered and found her voice. She quietly said, “That dude was naked.”

My GM came back down and asked me to call the police, and then told me that the other managers and the CFO were up on the third floor watching the guy. Police came, the guy left — with his clothes on — and order resumed for the morning.

This man was about six tall and six feet wide, and none of us have any idea how he made it outside without his clothes with no one noticing.

Later that day, at the end of my shift, there was a family in the lobby waiting for some friends. We started talking and one of their sons started telling me all of their plans for the afternoon. Then, he stopped and asked, “Do you remember the naked guy this morning?” 

“Yes, I do!” I responded.

The guest then said, “That was inappropriate behavior and made me very uncomfortable.”

His parents started to smile and laugh because he was being so serious. They also told me that he hardly ever talks to strangers.

I told him, “Yes, it was inappropriate and, sweetie, ‘uncomfortable’ is putting it mildly, to say the least.”

The guest said, “He should be punished, maybe get a time out.”

I replied, “He did; he got kicked out and sent home, so we don’t have to deal with him anymore.”

The boy nodded and grew quiet again.

I have worked at this hotel for seven years and dealt with drunks and idiots, but he was my first — and hopefully my last — streaker. But I’m sad to say this was not the worst “inappropriate” behavior I have had to deal with.