Salty About Your Health

(I am finishing up my order at a sandwich shop.)

Me: “…and salt and pepper, please.”

Worker: *maybe 15 years older than I am* “Ooh, you have to watch your salt intake. It can be bad if you have high blood pressure.”

Me: *caught off guard and not sure how to react* “Um, my blood pressure is fine. Can I have salt and pepper?”

Worker: “Well, it’s fine now, but when you’re my age, you need to watch these things. You got cheese on your sandwich, too; can’t have too much of that when you’re older because of the fat and cholesterol.”

Me: “Okay?”

Worker: “Yes, you really need to be careful with these things. I know you’re young now, but—”

Customer Behind Me: “Wow, I didn’t know sandwiches came with health lectures now! Hope it doesn’t take too long; I’m hungry.”

Worker: *pause* “Let me ring you up.”

Me: *more to the customer than the worker* “Thank you.”