Sadly, We Think He Might Have Been Right

I’m new, working for a tech support line for an ISP in the earlier days of the Internet (around 2003, before common wireless capabilities). I get my very first call after finishing my training and mentoring period.

Caller: “My Internet won’t work!”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that, sir. Let’s go through some troubleshooting to see if we can identify the problem.”

Caller: “I charged my Internet all night, and now it won’t work when I unplug it from the modem.”

Hoo, boy…

Me: “Your modem does need to be plugged in to provide Internet, sir.”

Caller: “But it should be fully charged!”

Me: “It’s not a battery-operated device, sir. It needs to remain plugged in at all times.”

Caller: “Well, that’s stupid! Fine, I’ll just preload the Internet into my computer so I can unplug it from the modem, then.”

Me: “That’s not possible, either, sir. Your computer needs to be connected to the modem.”

Caller: “So, my computer needs to be connected to the modem, and my modem needs to be connected to the power?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “Humans have to plug themselves in to use the Internet! It’s the matrix! I don’t like it!”

Me: “I’m… sorry you feel that way, sir.”

Caller: “Does the government know about this?”

Me: “I think so, sir.”

Caller: “Well then, I’m gonna tell them anyway! This is gonna damage society, I tell ya!”

Me: “I understand, sir.”

Caller: “So… do you have the government’s email address?”

I took a break after my very first solo call.