Sadly, They Are Totally Syrias

Coworker: “Hey, did you know that [Coworker] is Muslim?”

Me: “Yes.”

Coworker: “He was saying he’s really devout, too. I wonder how long he has left?”

Me: “Until what?”

Coworker: “Until he’s deported, silly!”

Me: “He’s a British citizen.”

Coworker: “No, he isn’t. Muslims come from Syria and all those backward places.”

Me: “We share the same birthday. Our mums were on the same ward, literally next to each other sometimes.”

Coworker: “It doesn’t matter. He’ll be deported.”

Me: “I doubt that. You have a greater chance of being deported.”

(She’s American.)

Coworker: “Little old me? Don’t be silly. Christians aren’t kicked out of Christian countries. We have standards.”

Me: “Your Christianity won’t mean much if your visa expires.”

(She scoffed, but looked nervous for the rest of the week. When I spoke to our “Muslim” coworker later on, he said she barged into one of our prayer rooms, lighting a cigarette, and then harassed him for twenty minutes about why he was praying. A complaint was filed and she has been more reserved since, although she gives us nasty looks whenever we are near.)