Sadly, This Does Not Happen Medium-Rarely

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2020

(A customer orders a steak and asks to have it cooked medium. My colleague takes the steak out to him.)

Customer: “Wait, I want to check that this is cooked how I like it.”

(The customer cuts open their steak; it’s cooked medium so it’s still pink, but it doesn’t bleed.)

Customer: “I wanted this steak medium. This isn’t medium. I want some blood.”

(My colleague isn’t very knowledgeable about steak and doesn’t realise that the steak is medium, so they take the steak back to the kitchen and say that the customer says it isn’t medium. The chef grumbles because it is medium but cooks another steak, medium. I bring the second steak out, and the customer makes me wait while he cuts it open.)

Customer: “This isn’t medium. I want it medium, but with blood.”

(I take the steak back to the kitchen.)

Me: “He says it should have blood.”

Chef: “You mean medium-rare?!” *lots of swearing as he cooks the next steak*

(I take out the third steak, this time medium-rare. Again, the customer won’t let me leave until he cuts it open.)

Customer: “Now that’s a medium steak.”

Me: “No, sir, that’s a medium-rare steak. If you order medium-rare in future, you’ll always get your steak cooked like this, so you won’t have to check it each time.”

(My colleague and I ate the two spare steaks.)

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