A Jingle To Make You Single

(My wife and I love Christmas, but cannot stand most Christmas music. I’m telling her about my most recent trip to the supermarket.)

Me: “So I made it to December 19th before hearing the Chipmunks’ Christmas song.”

Wife: “Oh, god. I hate that song.”

Me: “I know!”

Wife: “I still haven’t lost the ‘Adolescent Male Percussionist’ competition.” (Our name for ‘The Little Drummer Boy.’)

Me: “Wow.”

Wife: “You’d better not play it for me now.”

Me: “I hadn’t even thought of it.”

Wife: “Yeah, right.

Me: “No, really. I value my life. And my balls.”