A Match Made In Hell

(It’s the 90s and my college is holding an event which includes free blind dates. I get seated at a table with a man I’ve never seen before. I’m a little skeptical of this so I try to be honest.)

Me: “Hello, sir. I’m 23, I pee in the shower, I snore, drool, and fart in my sleep, it will take an hour for me to finish a story that should only be 10 minutes long, and nobody is ever allowed to use my stuff.”

Man: “I’m also 23 years old. I never answer my phone on time, I wake up in the middle of the night several times every night, when I’m sick I will treat you like my slave, I won’t clean up after I shave, and I still don’t know how to peel a banana.”

(We have been married for 20 years now.)