Brain Offline

(My grandparents do not have a computer, and live in a rural area. It is a long way to the closest library with a computer lab. My grandfather is scheduled to have a surgery and has been getting automated phone calls from the hospital telling him to go to their website to fill out a form. He can’t go to the website, but he can’t explain that on the phone. He and my grandmother finally decide to go to the hospital and talk to someone. My grandmother can be very aggressive and does all the talking.)

Receptionist: “How can I help you?”

Grandmother: “My husband is supposed to have eye surgery in a few weeks. We’ve been getting phone calls telling us to go online and fill out some form, but we do not have a computer and can’t fill out the form.”

Receptionist: “Then you need to call the automated help line. You can locate the number on our website.”

Grandmother: “We can’t go to the website! We don’t have a computer.”

Receptionist: “If you’re having trouble filling out the form, you need to call the helpline. The phone number is on our website if you’d just—”

Grandmother: “Can’t you just give us the number for the helpline?”

Receptionist: “It’s really very easy to find on the website. When you get to our homepage, there is a box in the top right corner with the helpline phone number.”

Grandmother: “You’re not understanding what I’m saying! We cannot go to the website because we do not have a computer! Is there some other way to do the form?”

Receptionist: “The only way to complete the form without doing it online is through the helpline. The number is on the website.”

Grandmother: “I know it’s on the website! You keep saying that!”

Receptionist: “Then I don’t see what the problem is. I’ve told you where to find the helpline. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Grandmother: “You didn’t help us at all!”

(Finally another receptionist showed up, hearing my grandmother yelling. She got on the website and helped my grandfather fill out the form right there. The other receptionist acted like she had no idea why my grandmother was mad at her.)