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Roommate Hate

| Friendly | June 16, 2014

(I live with a roommate but come to the conclusion that we are not compatible enough to live together. Since we were going to move out of our apartment anyway and have plans to get a house with some mutual friends, I decide to live on my own and for my roommate to live with our mutual friends without me. I tell her my decision six months before we are planning to even look for a house.)

Roommate: “You’re just abandoning me! As soon as something better came up you just decided to throw me aside!”

Me: “I’m not abandoning you. I just feel like this is the best decision for me. You still have the others to live with. I always said I didn’t want to live with so many people and you know I don’t really get along with [Friend]. You also mentioned that you would apply for housing, in which case it’s you who would have left me and I supported that decision. I’m sorry but this is my choice.”

Roommate: “Why are you telling me this so late? You can’t just make that decision!”

Me: “I am telling you over half a year in advance! Look, I’m sorry you feel this way but I’m allowed to live on my own. We’ll still be friends. We just won’t live together.”

Roommate: “You broke my heart! Stop apologizing. It’s not helping!”

Me: “Well, apologizing is all I can do; I don’t know what else you want from me.”

(This exact conversation happens about a dozen times, with me repeatedly saying I don’t want to talk about it any longer because it’s no use. Fast forward 1.5 months, I am trying to sublet my room for the summer, which both my roommate and I agree is okay. She has already sabotaged my attempts to find a sub-letter twice.)

Roommate: “I called the landlord this morning about you trying to sublet the place and saying it was free after the summer. He said there was a wait list for the apartment so you can’t do that. You doing this is not appropriate and it’s not your place. You better change your ad because what you’re saying it wrong and you have no right!”

(I decide to call the landlord to see if it’s true and to apologize if it is.)

Me: *to my roommate* “So, I talked to the landlord and he said you never spoke to him. He also said there was no wait list and that in fact he would be glad if through the process of finding myself a sub-letter I would find a successor to the apartment. You lied.”

Roommate: “Well… I… I only lied because you drove me into a corner! It’s your fault!”

(I still have no idea what she meant. Over the last two months of us living together she told me that I could no longer see our mutual friends so that ‘no one felt left out,’ that our friends had complained about me (which was also not true), and insisted that I broke her heart. All she managed to achieve was to confirm my wish to live on my own!)