Hair Apparent, Innuendo Imminent

| Ohio, USA | Romantic | September 19, 2011

(A male customer approaches me with his wife. He has a weird grin on his face. Note: I recently dyed my hair. )

Customer: *laughing* “Is that your natural color?”

Me: “No, it isn’t.”

(The customer still has a weird, expectant grin on his face. I’m waiting for the punchline of whatever joke he is trying to tell me. Thankfully, his wife speaks up.)

Customer’s wife: *relieved*“If you had said yes, he would have asked you to prove it!”

 

Inappropriateness, Infidelity, And Incarceration

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Romantic | September 16, 2011

(It is Valentine’s Day, and I am checking out a man’s purchases.)

Me: “Oh, these are lovely roses! Someone is going to be very lucky today!”

Customer: “Yeah, you.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Why don’t you give me your number, babe? Seriously.”

Me: “How old are you, sir?”

Customer: “I’m only thirty-five.”

Me: “Well, I’m sixteen.”

Customer: “Oh! My bad…um…”

Me: “So…uh…who are the flowers for?”

Customer: “My girlfriend…”

Fat Chance, Fathead

| Melbourne, Australia | Romantic | September 16, 2011

Boyfriend: “When we get married, we need to have kids right away.”

Me: “Uh, I’m not even sure I want kids.”

Boyfriend: “Oh, it’s okay. I’d rather adopt so they don’t turn out like you.”

Me: “Like me?”

Boyfriend: “You know, fat.”

(Yeah, we broke up not long after.)

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LOLDates

| England, UK | Romantic | September 15, 2011

(A woman and her boyfriend come in, looking to get a new kitten. The man picks up about five at once.)

Boyfriend: “So many kitties!”

Girlfriend: “He’s not five, I swear.”

Boyfriend: “So many kitties! Oh, they’re so cuuuuute!”

Girlfriend: “Seriously, he’s not five.”

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Hair Apparent, Forgetfulness Deterrent

| Indiana, USA | Romantic | September 15, 2011

(My boyfriend and I have only been dating a week or so, and have only known each other a few days longer. I am a blonde, albeit a very dark blonde.)

Boyfriend: “You know, I’ve been thinking about this tall, gorgeous, brunette woman all day.”

Me: “Oh, really? And who would that be?”

(He’s never gotten my hair color wrong again.)

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