For Teppanyaki Or Worse

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Romantic | September 20, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are on a date at a Japanese restaurant. It’s the kind where you are often seated with other customers. At our table are two older couples.)

Lady #1, to waiter: “We’ll take the check for the four of us. We’re celebrating their anniversary.”

Waiter, to other couple: “How long have you been married?”

Lady #2: “56 years!”

Husband #2, to us: “Are you married?”

My boyfriend: “No, I’m happy!”

A Knight In A Shining Apron

| UK | Romantic | September 20, 2011

(This happened about 5 years ago, when I was doing weekend work having just turned 18. A customer in his 50s approaches my checkout.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but why aren’t you wearing your ring? That’s very disrespectful.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but what ring?”

Customer: “You know, your wedding ring?”

Me: “I think you may have mistaken me for someone else. I’m not married–I’m only 18.”

Customer: “When I was your age, I was married and my wife was pregnant with our son! How can you not be married yet?! It’s getting far too late for you! No one will ever want to marry you at this rate!”

(I love the idea of romance, and am very emotional, so I have tears in my eyes, even though I know he is wrong. A male coworker has been listening the whole time and speaks up to defend me.)

Male coworker: “I disagree, sir. I, for one, would like to marry her.”

(In frustration, the man takes his shopping bags and storms out the shop, all the while muttering. My coworker and I went out for drinks after work, and now, five years on, he really is my fiancé! I suppose I have a lot to thank that man for!)

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On A Tight Leash

| Albany, NY, USA | Romantic | September 19, 2011

Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, my cable box is doing that tiling thing.”

Me: “I can help you with that. Let’s try and reboot the box. I need you to unplug it.”

Customer: “My wife is recording a show. Will that be affected?”

Me: “Unfortunately, yes. If you unplug the box, the DVR will stop recording.”

Customer: “Do you think I should should wait, and call back later when it’s done?”

Me: *chuckles* “That depends on how much trouble you’ll get in with your wife.”

Customer: *laughs nervously* “Yeah, you’re right. She’ll lock me in the basement again…I’ll wait, thank you.”

Also seen on: Not Always Right

Hair Apparent, Innuendo Imminent

| Ohio, USA | Romantic | September 19, 2011

(A male customer approaches me with his wife. He has a weird grin on his face. Note: I recently dyed my hair. )

Customer: *laughing* “Is that your natural color?”

Me: “No, it isn’t.”

(The customer still has a weird, expectant grin on his face. I’m waiting for the punchline of whatever joke he is trying to tell me. Thankfully, his wife speaks up.)

Customer’s wife: *relieved*“If you had said yes, he would have asked you to prove it!”

 

He’s Got The Look

| Ireland | Romantic | September 18, 2011

Male Customer: “Excuse me, could I get some boyfriend jeans?”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Customer: “You know, the baggy jeans – ‘boyfriend’ jeans.” *looks at me like I’m stupid*

Me: “You mean…normal jeans?”

Customer: *adamantly* “NO! My girlfriend calls them ‘boyfriend’ jeans.”

Me: “She’s female…for guys they’re just ‘jeans’…”

Customer: “Well, whatever they are, can you get me a pair?”

Also seen on: Not Always Right

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