How To Make Proposals Ring True

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Romantic | September 28, 2011

(My boyfriend and I have been having an awesome day at Disneyland. However, he’s been trying to take my promise ring from me the entire day.)

Boyfriend: *reaches for my hand, pulling on the ring* “This roller coaster is really shaky. I should hold onto your ring so it won’t fall off.”

Me: “Nah, it’s okay. It hasn’t fallen off the other times we went on it.”

(Later, during fireworks…)

Boyfriend: *holds my hand, pulling on the ring slightly* “I want to see what your ring looks like in the moonlight.”

Me: “Why do you keep trying to take my ring?!”

Boyfriend: *yelling* “BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO PROPOSE TO YOU!” *switches back to normal voice* “By the way, will you marry me?”

(After laughing and giving him the ring, he got down on one knee with it and did it proper. I said yes!)

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All’s Well That (Rear) Ends Well

| Florida, USA | Romantic | September 27, 2011

(As I’m standing around with the other servers waiting for our tables to be attended to, I overhear a couple talking as they’re eating.)

Girl: “So you really love me, huh?”

Guy: “Very much so. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

Girl: “How much do you love me?”

Guy: “This much!” *extends arms across*

Girl: “That doesn’t quite convince me. How much is that, exactly?”

Guy: “Well, it was supposed to be as big as your a**.”

(The girl yells at him and flicks some refried beans at him.)

Guy: “Hey! I was gonna say as big as my heart, but your butt is bigger.”

Girl: “Awwww!” *kisses him on the cheek and continues eating*

 

The Man Show-ology 101

| NY, USA | Romantic | September 27, 2011

(During my training at a jewelry store, an attractive couple comes in and heads right for the wedding bands.)

Me: “Hi, folks. Are you just browsing?”

Bride-to-be: *beaming happily* “We’re getting married in a few months.”

Me: “Congratulations! Is there anything specific you were looking for?”

Husband-to-be: “Yeah. Do you have any that are flesh-colored?”

Bride-to-be: *smacks him in the back of the head*

Husband-to-be: “I mean, do you have any bright gold ones that lets all the women know I’m married?”

Hair Apparent, Frustratingly Senescent

| Salem, OR, USA | Romantic | September 26, 2011

(I’m sitting outside, relaxing in the sun with my youngest daughter, when my sweet husband comes out the front door to talk to me. He looks down at us and pauses before going back inside.)

Husband: “You know honey, the way you’re sitting there with the sun shining on your hair, I just realized…”

(I smile at him affectionately, anticipating the compliment he is about to pay me.)

Husband: “You’re getting really gray-headed, old woman!”

 

Foot In Mouth Disease, Perhaps

| Kansas, USA | Romantic | September 26, 2011

(I am sitting alone at my lunch table, waiting for my friends to finish getting their food when a boy I’ve never talked to comes up.)

Boy: “Hey there, [my name]·”

Me: “Uh, hi?”

Boy: “So, I was wondering…”

Me: “What?”

Boy: “Do you have some disease that makes it so you can’t absorb fat correctly?”

Me: “Um, excuse me?”

Boy: “Well, you’re just really skinny.”

Me: “That was the worst pick up line, ever.”

Boy: “I’m sorry. But seriously–no diseases?”

Me: “What? No!”

Boy: *disappointed* “Oh, okay. Well, can I maybe text you sometime?”

Me: “Honestly, no.”

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