Love Can Sneak Up On You

| Doylestown, PA, USA | Romantic | October 24, 2011

(I have just finished my shift at a pizza place. I’ve gotten out of uniform, taken my glasses off, and untied my hair. I walk over to a male coworker, who is still working behind the counter.)

Me: “How much is it for me to get a sandwich?”

Coworker: “Well, it’s $6.95, but for you, I’ll make it $5.”

Me: “Wait, I thought our discounts were 50%?”

Coworker: “Just because you’re cute doesn’t mean you can get it that cheap. But, if I can get your number, I’ll pay for it myself.”

Me: “I already gave it to you twice last week.”

Coworker: “How could you have? I’ve never seen you before!”

Me: “Yeah, sure.”

(I reach over the counter to grab a cup for my drink.)

Coworker: “Normally I’d charge you for that, but since you’re so adorable I’ll give it to you. So, what’s your name? Want to go to dinner next week?”

Me: *holding up name tag*

Coworker: “…you’re a ninja, aren’t you?”

(We’ve been together 6 months now.)

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Laughter (And Love) Is The Best Medicine

| Williamsport, PA, USA | Romantic | October 23, 2011

(I’ve been an insulin-dependent diabetic for 37 years, and for the first time I am facing the amputation of a toe. It should also be noted that my fiancée and I have gotten into the habit of cuddling just before drifting off to sleep. These cuddle sessions often become our time to discuss serious matters.)

Me: “So, it’s decided. This ulcer isn’t getting better. If anything, it’s getting worse. The tendons are gone inside the toe, which means I’m just waiting to accidentally stub the toe off. This would only mean a bigger mess and a more serious infection. On my next doctor visit, I’ll tell him it needs to come off.”

Fiancée: “It’s okay, baby. I understand…”

(She snuggles closer.)

Fiancée: “…and I’ll still love you if you can only count up to 19.”

(Suffice to say, we both ended our night with a great deal of laughing.)

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No Need For The Big Picture, Please

| Ohio, USA | Romantic | October 22, 2011

(My band is between sets, taking a break. A guy my age and two people who appear to be his parents approach me, while I’m on the phone.)

Mom: “Hi…”

Me, to caller: “Hold on a sec.”

Mom: *gestures to son* “He thinks you’re really hot.”

Me: *awkward silence*

Mom: “And I’ve heard he has a monster in his pants.”

Me: *unbearably awkward silence*

Plankton & W.I.F.E., The Early Years

| Minnesota, USA | Romantic | October 21, 2011

(Note that my fiancé has, shall we say, attention problems. This occurs the night before finals week my fourth year in college. My fiancé is cuddling with me while I’m trying to fall asleep.)

Fiancé: *pokes me very frantically*

Me: “Yes, dear?”

Fiancé: *continues poking*

Me: “What, dear?”

Fiancé: *pokes a few more times, than says excitedly* “Do you know what that is?

Me: “What, dear?”

Fiancé: “THAT’S SPONGEBOB!”

(Apparently, he had been poking the rhythm to the Spongebob Squarepants theme song into my arm. Needless to say, it was a very long night.)

If You’re Gonna Break The Ice, Might As Well Spill It Too

| South Carolina, USA | Romantic | October 21, 2011

(I am here at this college for one month during the summer as part of a special program. I am sitting with a couple of my friends in the dining hall at the end of the table. We are talking and laughing when a tall, really cute blonde guy walks up.)

Guy: “Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?”

(My friend Ashley and I stare at each other, perplexed and expecting the worst from this guy.)

Guy: “Enough to break the ice! Hi, my name is Will.”

(He shakes my hand and turns to shake Ashley’s when he knocks her cup over. The water spills on the table and the ice goes bouncing across the floor.)

Guy: “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Let me go re-fill your cup!”

(He runs off and everyone at my end of the table is just staring at each other, open-mouthed. Then he comes back with the refilled cup.)

Guy: “Here you go! I’m just gonna, um, go back over here now…”

(He hurries off, red-faced and everyone bursts out laughing. It was just too adorable!)

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