(My husband works as the surveyor for a huge infrastructure project. I call him at work, while he is out in the field.)

Me: “Hey, do you want me to see if I can get a sitter for tomorrow night? We haven’t done date night in a long time.”

Husband: “Huh? Yeah, sure.”

Me: “Where do you want to go for dinner? I have a sexy new dress I think you’re going to like.”

(There’s no answer from my husband, but I can hear him muttering something about concrete.)

Me: “Hello? Hello! What are you doing?”

Husband: “Nothing. So, yeah, um, that sounds nice. Wait, what did you say?”

Me: “You know, you could at least pretend that you’re listening.”

Husband: “I am pretending!”

(It is Sunday morning, after Black Friday. I have been working retail all weekend and I am worn out to the max.)

Me: “I had some crazy dreams.”

Boyfriend: “Apparently, you were checking people out.”

Me: “What?!”

Boyfriend: “You woke me up, and said, ‘Your total is $34.98. Do you have any coupons?'”

Me: “Oh, my God, no way!”

Boyfriend: “I shook you so you’d wake up a little and dream about something else. I just knew I couldn’t let you dream that.”

This story is part of our Black Friday roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

14 Times Employees Had To Fight For Their Lunch Break

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(I’ve been out of town for the last six days on a trip. I’m walking up the concourse to where my boyfriend is waiting for me. I hug him, then he drops to one knee.)

Him: “You know, we’ve only been together for five months. I know this is short notice, but the last six days have been hell and have really reaffirmed that I can’t live without you in my life. I want to spend my life with you and…”

(He pauses for breath and pulls out a Ring Pop.)

Him: “…I really want to be with you and I know I can’t afford much, but will you marry me?”

(At this point, other people are watching. Neither of us really cares as I attack-hug him with kisses.)

Me: “Yes!”

(I still have the ring from the Ring Pop, and we’re still together. The date is picked and rapidly approaching!)

(My boyfriend and I are courting via Skype. I am an ex-Trekkie. We are discussing what I last recall watching of DS9. He’s more of a Star Wars nerd, so I’m watching for when his eyes glazing over.)

Me: “I remember one season, there was a visitor to DS9. She really, really fancied Q and Odo, and caused all sorts of problems. I can’t remember who she was or the episode or the season.”

(I flail geekily.)

Boyfriend: *sigh* “Lwaxana Troi.”

(We pause, followed by a mutual silence.)

Me: “I think I just had a geekgasm. Thank you.”

Boyfriend: “Want to see my collection of Star Trek autobiographies? I even have Grace Lee Whitney’s!”

(Two girls, looking to be in their late teens/early twenties–one blonde, one brunette–walk in. Their arms are linked. They talk under their breath for a minute, and then laugh. The brunette kisses the blonde’s cheek and they separate. My coworker prides herself on being open-minded.)

Coworker: “Aww! Look at them. They’re so cute.”

(My coworker goes over to the brunette.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you how cute the two of you are together. How long have you been together?”

Brunette: *thinks for a minute* “Uh, gosh. I guess it’s been, what, eighteen years now?”

(My coworker just stares.)

Brunette: *trying not to laugh* “We’re sisters.”

(My coworker doesn’t approach people she thinks are couples anymore.)