Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

Making A Big Concession To Customers

| Romantic | February 4, 2011

(I’m helping a middle-aged man carry the items he bought from the concession stand to his theater.)

Me: “So, who are you here with?”

Customer: “My son.”

(We walk into the theater, and the man sees his son.)

Customer: “Son, look what I brought you! A girl!”

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Love A Jedi Shall Know

, , , , , | Right Romantic | January 11, 2011

(I am at work and I see two girls from my college I know as acquaintances, but not as much more than that. I have a crush on one of them as she is really pretty and seems nice for the most part. I watch as she and her friend approach the register.)

My Crush: “No, you’re wrong! I’m telling you, he never said that!”

(I assume they are gossiping about something until I listen a little more to the conversation.)

Her Friend: “No, he did! He totally did! We watched it last night, stupid!”

My Crush: “Obi-Wan never says, ‘I love you, Anakin.’ The line is ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.’!”

Her Friend: “No!”

My Crush: *turns to me* “Oh, hey, [My Name]! What’s up?”

Me: “Not much. I’m good. And you’re right; Obi-Wan’s line was ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.’”

My Crush: “Oh, my God, thank you!” *turns to her friend* “And you call yourself a Star Wars fan.”

(Her friend scowls, but they pay and say goodbye. I watch as they get to the automatic doors. Her friend pretends to use ‘The Force’ on them. Suddenly, my crush jumps in front of her.)

My Crush: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

(I walked over and asked her out. We got married a month ago.)


This story is part of our Star Wars roundup!

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In(tentional) Sickness And In Health

, | Romantic | March 14, 2010

(We respond to an unconscious diabetic. While my partner is treating the patient, I am asking the wife some questions.)

Me: “So is your husband on any medications?”

(She lists the medications her husband is on, including insulin.)

Me: “And has he been compliant with those medications lately?”

Wife: “Nope.”

Me: “Do you know why not?”

Wife: “Well we had a big fight last week, so I hid all his meds. He hasn’t found them yet.”

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Coming Soon: My Big Fat Greek Divorce

, , , , | Right Romantic | March 12, 2010

(A man comes up to the box office with his wife.)

Customer: “Two tickets, please.”

Me: “Sure, what movie?”

(The customer just points at his wife. She does not notice.)

Me: “Uh, sir, I need to know which movie you’d like to see.”

(he continues to just point at his wife.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

Customer: “She’s a Big, Fat, Greek Woman!”


This story is part of our Bickering Couple roundup!

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Contractions Speak Louder Than Words

, , , , , | Romantic | March 7, 2010

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help?”

Customer: “I want to make a complaint about the lady who just served my wife. She is eight-months pregnant. When she came to pay, the checkout girl didn’t offer to help with the packing. She let my wife struggle!”

Me: “I’m really sorry. It’s store policy to ask if the customer needs help with the packing. Do you have the receipt so I can see who served her?”

(I walk over to the till and show the checkout girl the receipt. She explains what happened. I return to the customer.)

Me: “Hi, sir. The checkout girl explained that your wife was on her phone at the till. She asked a few times if she needed help packing but she didn’t answer. I’m confident we did all we could to help.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not good enough. I want some money back on the shopping for the poor service. My wife is pregnant and in a lot of pain and had to struggle on her own. No one helped her.”

Me: “This receipt is from a few minutes ago. Can I ask where you were?”

Customer: “I sat in the car waiting for her to come back. What’s that got to do with anything?”

 

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