(I have a bad cold. My fiancée and I have a childish exchange.)

Me: *in a childish voice* “I dying.”

Fiancée: “You’re not dying.”

Me: “I are too! I dying!”

Fiancée: “Fine. You’re dying. Tell me when so I can pencil you in my calendar.”

Me: *without missing a beat* “Tuesday the 14th.”

(My fiancée starts fiddling with my phone.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Fiancée: “You’ll see.”

(About three months later, I’m sitting at my computer. A loud alarm goes off on my phone. I look at it and start laughing hysterically.)

Fiancée: “What happened?”

Me: “Apparently, I’m supposed to be dying between 11:00 AM and 2:00 PM.”

Fiancée: *starts laughing, as well* “Oh! I’d forgotten I put that in there!”

Me: “I said Tuesday the 14th when I had that cold, and it’s April 14th. It’s nice to know you’re listening, baby.”

(I am talking to my fiancé.)

Me: “We’ll make a baby one day. But, not for a while.”

Fiancé: “It takes a lot more than one day to make a baby.”

Me: “Well, we can get the process started in one day.”

Fiancé: “No, we can do the prep work in one day. There’s still a lot of cooking to do!”

(We have just witnessed a successful public proposal. Everyone from nearby tables congratulates them, including a girl that’s about 10-years-old.)

Girl: “Congratulations! I can’t wait to get married too.”

Bride to be: “That’s nice, sweetie. Do you have a boy in mind?”

Girl: “Not a boy! A girl!”

Girl’s mother: “Yep, that’s my little darling. A lesbian.”

(For our anniversary, my husband gives me a card in which he’s written his own verse.)

Card: “My internal organs are being crushed by my heart, because it is so full of love for you.”

(I am on my way to meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time.)

Boyfriend: “My mom’s making her special quiche!”

(He is a little clueless as to how I nervous I am feeling about meeting them.)

Me: “So, should I be nervous?”

Boyfriend: “No, my mom makes great quiche!”