Bosomless Buddies

| Chicago, IL, USA | Romantic | November 4, 2011

(My friend and I walk into our apartment late one night to find our boyfriends discussing the perfect woman. Without them knowing, we silently stand right behind them and listen in on the entire conversation.)

My boyfriend: “A blonde with blue eyes and C-Cups, that’s where it’s at.”

Friend’s boyfriend: “Completely. No questions asked. We just need to find some.”

(At this point, my friend speaks up.)

Friend: “Good luck with that!”

(Our boyfriends turn around, both of them with shocked faces.)

Me: “Well, [friend] and I are going to take our brown hair and B-Cups to bed to sleep. You two can share the couch.”

(Needless to say, they did a lot of apologizing for the next few weeks.)

Tit For Tat Whether Fit Or Fat

, | Ramsgate, Kent, UK | Romantic | November 3, 2011

(I should point out that I have a set spiel for dealing with customers that come in pairs, and that the pair here were of a decidedly rotund bent.)

Me: “Right, three tokens. One each, and a fight.”

Male Customer: *laughs* “Oh, we don’t fight.”

Female Customer: “Yes we do, [name]. It just only happens when you’re wrong about something.”

Male Customer: “Like when I say you can still fit into your wedding dress?”

Female Customer: “Like when you say you can fit into doors.”

Fight Of The Valkyries

| Alberta, Canada | Romantic | November 3, 2011

(As I am walking behind a couple, I see my manager walking towards us. My manager, who is a woman, winks at me and does an exaggerated smile.)

Woman: *turns to me* “Did she smile at you?”

Me: “Yes, it’s a joke between us.”

Woman: “Good, because I thought she was hitting on my husband. I was about to kick some a**!”

I’ve Got A Bed Feeling About This

, | Switzerland | Romantic | November 3, 2011

(My boyfriend and me have only been together for about 2 months. We are cuddling in bed after a romantic day out.)

Boyfriend: “Sweetheart, I love you!”

Me: “I love you, too!”

Boyfriend: “I know…”

Me: “…what?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I always wanted to quote Han Solo. You know the scene, when princess Leia tells him just before he freezes himself, don’t you?”

Me: *speechless*

Boyfriend: “This just seemed to be the perfect moment!”

Guilty Of Perpetrating A Prank

| Arnolds Park, IA, USA | Romantic | November 2, 2011

(I have just been in a minor car accident and am on the phone with the local police department.)

Me: “Hi. I’ve just been rear-ended and need someone to come fill out an accident report.”

Officer: “Really? No, you weren’t.”

Me: “Um…yes…I was.”

Officer: “No…you weren’t.”

Me: “Yes…I was.”

(This back and forth continues for a bit.)

Officer: “Wait. What was your name?”

Me: *states name*

Officer: “Oh, my god! I’m so sorry! I thought you were my wife prank calling me! Someone will be right out!

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