(I haven’t seen my boyfriend for the last two days, so we meet for lunch.)
Boyfriend: “You know, I thought of you this morning. I really missed you.”
Me: “Aw! So sweet!”
Boyfriend: “My back was itching, and I couldn’t reach it.”
(My dad has not dated since mom died.)
Dad: “I’m going to put a dating ad in the personals.”
Me: “So, you’re ready to move on. Cool.”
Dad: “How about I include you in the ad? I don’t think they’ll mind a ‘single dad and son looking for girlfriends’ headline. Same cost as one ad, but for both of us.”
Me: *I just stare*
Dad: “Alright, guess not.”
(I am sitting on my bed with my boyfriend. We have been dating for 3 years.)
Boyfriend: “Your eyes are so beautiful.”
Me: *covering my eyes with my hands* “What color are they?”
Boyfriend: “Um, brown?”
Me: “Try green.”
Boyfriend: “Oops.”
(I over-hear two members of our Star Wars costume group. We only ever dress up as the bad guys from the movies.)
Her: “Hey. Uh… I noticed you’re doing your best to pick up Sally?”
Him: “Yeah, she’s pretty cute.”
Her: “You do realise she bats for the other team, right?”
Him: “You mean, she’s a Jedi?”
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(My boyfriend and I are at his place. He has been in the toilet for 45 minutes.)
Boyfriend: “Sorry, I was gone so long. I did the biggest poo ever!”
Me: *silent*
Boyfriend: “What? I named it after you. Want to give it a proper send off?”
