Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

Now, The Only Thing Hot Is The Water You’re In

| Romantic | October 14, 2011

(I’m at dinner with my boyfriend and his friends. They’re teasing me about the girl my boyfriend had been talking to before we started dating.)

Me: “I don’t care, because he picked me. Right, baby?”

My boyfriend: “Exactly. You were clearly the better choice.”

Me: *grinning* “What made me the better choice?”

My boyfriend: “She was insanely hot. Whenever we went out, guys were constantly staring at her. I don’t have to worry about that with you!”

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Less Stupid, More Cupid

| Romantic | October 13, 2011

Me: “Please stop saying you’re romantic. You aren’t at all.”

Boyfriend: “I am so romantic.”

Me: “Oh yeah? Name something romantic you did during our past three years together.”

Boyfriend: “I took you to the movies last week.”

Me: “First, Transformers isn’t romantic. Second, you dropped me off and went straight home after.”

Boyfriend: “But I paid, didn’t I?!”

Me: “Yes, but your sister was with us!”

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Taking The Two Out Of Together

| Romantic | October 12, 2011

(Due to employment incentives, for the past few years my father has lived in another town and came home on the weekends. After retiring, he moved back home with my mom. Shortly after, I get a call from my mom, who works full time as a professor.)

Me: “Hi mom, what’s up–”

Mom: “Your father is driving me crazy!”

Me: “So, what did he do?”

Mom: “I was leaving for work, and…”

Me: “What did he do?”

Mom: *angrily “He asked me what I wanted for dinner!”

Me: “The nerve of him.”

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Taking The Man Out Of Wo-Man

| Romantic | October 12, 2011

(I’m at home with my boyfriend, watching a football match.)

Me: “That referee is really ruthless.”

Boyfriend: “Well it’s like Heidi Klum would say on Project Runway: You’re eizer een, or you’re out.”

Me: “Dear Lord, I’ve turned you!”

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Vampires Vs. Watercoolers

| Romantic | October 11, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are at a local video rental store when we overhear a conversation between a couple about what movies to rent.)

Husband: “What about this movie? I heard it was a good movie.” *points to Twilight New Moon*

Wife: “We’re not renting that.”

Husband: “But we each get to pick one movie.”

Wife: “We’re not renting that! It’s for teenage girls.”

Husband: “We each get a movie. That’s the movie I want.”

Wife: “That movie is for teenage girls. I will not watch that movie! If you rent it, you will be watching it alone. I am not going to watch that!”

Husband: “It’s supposed to be good. I should be able to pick what I want, since we each get a movie.”

Wife: “Fine. I’m going to tell everyone you work with that you watch movies for teenage girls!”

(He didn’t get the movie.)

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