Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

The True Meaning Of Seeing Clearly

| Romantic | October 31, 2011

(Five teenage girls are sitting at a table. A couple tables away are two teenage guys. One of the guys appears to be staring at the girls through his sunglasses. The girls are arguing with each other about which one of them he is checking out.)

Me: “Uhh, girls…hate to burst your bubble, but he’s blind.”

Girls #1-#4: “Oh no!”

Girl #5, to the other girls: “Best news I’ve heard. Means I have just as much chance with him as you all do.”

(At this point, Girl #5 walks over and asks for the guy’s number, which he gives to her.)

Girl #1, to the blind guy: “Hey, you got the ugliest girl!”

Blind guy: “That’s the best thing about being blind. I can pay more attention to appreciating people for who they are, instead of judging by beauty. Dating is not a beauty contest.”

(Five months later, the girl and the guy continue to visit the restaurant regularly–minus the other four girls, since the two are now seriously dating!)

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And Fatheaded Men, Too

| Romantic | October 30, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are talking about Chinese wedding dresses after a friend of his got married.)

Me: “If we ever get married, I’m gonna have to get one made here before we go.”

Boyfriend: “Why? They do sell them there.”

Me: “Well, yes, but I’m not exactly shaped like a Chinese girl. ”

Boyfriend: “Oh, it’s okay. We have fat girls in China too!”

(For the record, I was referring to the fact that I have a decently sized chest. I did end up marrying him and found the one dress that fit me, too!)

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Caught In A Recession Romance

| Romantic | October 29, 2011

(My boyfriend and I have been caught by the police for having a little too much fun in his parked car. As part of the requisite talking-to while we are putting on our clothes, the officer gives him the following advice…)

Police Officer: “Man, this is a nice girl.”

Boyfriend: “I-I know.”

Police Officer: “You can’t treat her like this. You can’t take her to a parking lot. You gotta take her someplace nice.”

Boyfriend: “Like what?”

Police Officer: “Like the Econo-Lodge.”

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Til Deaf Do Us Part

| Romantic | October 28, 2011

(My mom is deaf in one ear, so she can’t hear very well. My dad takes advantage for fun, but he’s starting to go deaf too.)

Mom: *sneezes*

Dad: “Shut up!”

Mom: “Thank you!”

Dad: “You’re welcome. See? This is why I married this woman.”

Me: *stifling a laugh* “Dad, what are you going to do when you start losing your hearing?”

Dad: “Huh?”

Mom: “What?”

Me: “Oh god, never mind. You two are perfect for each other.”

Dad: “Huh?”

Mom: “What’d he say?”

Dad: “What’d you say?”

Mom: “Huh?”

Dad: “What?”

(I slam my head on my desk out of frustration.)

Mom: “Why’s he slamming his head on the table?”

Dad: “I dunno.”

Mom: “What?”

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Know When To Disagree To Agree

| Romantic | October 28, 2011

(Note: we’re sitting at home watching a sci-fi action movie.)

Me: “This is definitely a guy’s movie. The short nerdy guy gets the hot exotic model type.”

Husband: “Yep, every guy’s dream!”

Me: “Yeah, but in real life normal men get boring, plain women like me!” *laughs*

Husband: “That is so true…”

Me: *speechless*

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