Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

It Was Over Before It Began

| Romantic | November 9, 2011

(My friend and my new boyfriend are talking. I didn’t paying attention to the beginning of the conversation, but I start listening just in time to hear this.)

Friend: “You know you’re never going to win now, right?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, I stopped winning awhile ago. She always wins.”

Me: “I do not always win! I don’t even try to win!”

Friend, to my boyfriend: “You’re gonna lose this one, too!”

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Fourth Time’s Not So Charming

| Romantic | November 8, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are talking about our plans for the next few weeks. It’s our anniversary the following Wednesday.)

Me: “So, what’s happening next Wednesday again?”

Boyfriend: “Umm…we have an accounting test?”

Me: “And?”

Boyfriend: “[New videogame] comes out?”

Me: *silence*

Boyfriend: “Oh! Oh! It’s our two year anniversary!”

Me: *even more silence*

Boyfriend: “I mean, it’s our three year anniversary, sweetheart!”

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I’ll Be Your PDA If You Show Me Some PDA

| Romantic | November 8, 2011

(I’m at the bank with my wife. I approach the information desk to submit some forms.)

Teller: “Good morning sir, do you have your account number?”

Me: “No, I don’t, but I can give you–”

(Without missing a beat, my wife suddenly cuts in and states my entire account number from memory.)

Me: *surprised* “Yes, I do.”

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A Beautiful Brogue So Rambling And Sweet

| Romantic | November 8, 2011

(I am the only cashier working at this moment. An elderly man, clearly from Ireland, approaches the counter. We are not busy and there is nobody else in line, so we talk for a while and after I ring him through.)

Elderly Man: “I’m buying this for my wife. And this one’s for my daughter-in-law. It’s so hard to decide what to buy for the ladies these days.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s hard to pick things out for the guys, too.”

Elderly man: “Do you have a guy?”

Me: “No I don’t, but I don’t mind–”

Elderly man: “Well, don’t be discouraged! You’re a lovely young lady; very helpful and polite. All you need to do is be yourself, and don’t change for any man. I know if I was a younger man, you would be a good challenge for me. You’re not easy like all the other girls today. You’re very respectable.”

(He’s talking quite loudly, within earshot of several women hanging around nearby. They’re all listening and laughing.)

Me: “Oh…well, thank-you. I appreciate that. Let me run your debit through.”

Elderly Man: “That would be wonderful. By the way, all these fields of clover in this town, when do they get harvested?”

Me: “Um…I don’t know, sir. Right before the frost, maybe?”

Elderly man: “Oh! That makes sense, I never thought of that.”

(I finish ringing him through and bagging his purchases.)

Elderly man: “Thank you. You’ve satisfied an old Irish man’s curiosity.”

Me: “Glad I could help, have a great day!”

Elderly man: “You too, my dear! Stay single!”

Lady approaching the counter: “Yeah…stay single…”

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Forget The Announcements, Here Come The Pronouncements

, , , , | Romantic | November 7, 2011

(It’s my friend’s wedding. His bride-to-be has some behavioral issues, so not everyone is happy about their marriage. Nonetheless, I decide to go over to my friend’s mother and congratulate her.)

Me: “Hi! Congratulations on your son’s marriage!

Friend’s Mother: “Don’t you mean, ‘My condolences’?”

Me: *awkward silence*

(On the other side of the room, we see my friend being congratulated by a female friend. Immediately, the bride storms over and pulls my friend away.)

Friend’s Mother: “I give them three weeks before one murders the other.”

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