Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

, , , | Romantic | December 31, 2007

(I go to a table of four, a mom and dad and two kids who are ready to order.)

Husband: “How big are your pizzas?”

Me: “They are ten-inch pizzas, sir.”

Husband: “Well how big is ten inches?”

(And before I can answer, the wife chimes in.)

Wife: “You wouldn’t know anything about ten inches, dear.”

(I stood there for a moment with my mouth open, before I ran to the wait station and started laughing hysterically.)

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Taking The Young At Heart Thing Too Far

, , , | Romantic | December 23, 2007

(An 80-year-old woman and her husband come up to the cutting counter with a bolt of sparkly, orange, see-through fabric.)

80-Year-Old Woman: “Three yards please.”

Me: *as I am measuring:* “What are you using this for?”

80-Year-Old Woman: “I am taking a belly dancing class, and I am going to make my own outfit.”

(I stare, and the man looks everywhere but his wife.)

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