The Sexi(e)st Pickup Line

| Texas, USA | Romantic | November 22, 2011

Customer: “You know, you’re really good at your job.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Customer: “It must be because you’re a woman.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Because women have to try harder to get anywhere in life. I bet you’re in school too, right?”

Me: “Um. Here’s your drink. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “So, can I get your number?”

Me: *speechless*

For You, I Would Mass Delete The World

| Maryland, USA | Romantic | November 22, 2011

(This took place during a meet with my long-distance boyfriend. We’re eating at a restaurant with our moms and his younger brothers, the latter of which are infamously annoying.)

Boyfriend: “Does this seem like a date to you?”

Me: “It would, if it was just the two of us.”

(My boyfriend points at everyone at the table in a row.)

Boyfriend: “Delete, delete, delete, delete.”

Me: *chuckles*

Boyfriend: “Better yet…” *points to our moms* “Moved to another table, moved to another table…” *points to his brothers* “Delete, delete.”

Me: *laughing*

Caution: Children At Play

| Santiago, Chile | Romantic | November 22, 2011

Me: “Okay, baby, you hang up!”

Boyfriend: “No, YOU hang up!”

Me: “No, YOU hang up!”

Boyfriend: “Okay!” *click!*

Me: “…”

(My boyfriend calls right back, laughing hysterically.)


She Who Returns The Pants

| Altoona, PA, USA | Romantic | November 21, 2011

(A customer approaches me with a return. The store policy is to return the money in the same fashion it was paid, i.e. bought with credit-returned to same credit.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this. Here is the receipt.”

Me: “Sure, no problem. Can I have the card that the shirt was bought with?”

Customer: “I don’t understand. My wife paid it off right then. Why do you need the card?”

Me: “Well, the shirt is $39. You paid for it with your [store] card, so I have to return the $39 to your [store] card.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why can’t you just return it.”

Me: “Hold on one minute…”

(I go over to speak with a manager to see if I can just give him cash.)

Me: “Okay, the manager says that if the card has a zero balance, I can return the shirt and give you cash. All I need is your wife’s social security so I can access the account over the phone.”

Customer: “Well, there is no balance. I don’t understand why you can’t just return the shirt. I don’t know where they are coming from.”

(I try to explain one more time about our store policy: I can only give him cash as long as I call and find out if there is no balance.)

Customer: “I’m just going to get my wife. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

(Five minutes later, he returns, accompanied by his wife.)

Me: “Okay, I can explain–”

Customer: “No need. She understands.”

Customer’s wife: *smiles knowingly*

Customer: *laughing “I can’t do anything without the wife.”


Caught In A Recession Romance, Part 2

, | Honolulu, HI, USA | Romantic | November 21, 2011

(My fiancé had proposed quite recently, so I am admiring my new engagement ring.)

Me: *sighing* “The ring is so beautiful. My fingers are so short and stubby, though.”

Him: “Yeah, I was kind of counting on that to make the ring look bigger.”


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