Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

Not All Fantasies Are Final

| Romantic | November 10, 2011

(This conversation happened while my then-girlfriend and I were dating. It was our third date, and somehow the conversation had come around to children.)

Girlfriend: “So, um, do you like kids?”

Me: “Sure do. I have six younger cousins, which I used to babysit during the summer.”

Girlfriend: “Aww, that’s cute. So, um, do you think you would ever have kids of your own someday?”

Me: *shrugs* “Yeah. Maybe. I’ve always thought it would be nice to have a little girl of my own.”

Girlfriend: “Really? You’ve always wanted a daughter? Me too.”

Me: “That’s cool. Let me guess…you have a name picked out already, don’t you?”

Wife: *shyly* “Yes…I picked it from Final Fantasy.”

Me: “Huh? Really? Let me guess…is it Aerith?”

(FYI, Aerith is a well-known female video game character from Final Fantasy VII.)

Girlfriend: “How’d you guess?”

Me: “I didn’t. I’ve always liked that name. I wouldn’t mind having a daughter with that name.”

Girlfriend: “That’s cute. Maybe if you’re lucky, that might happen.”

Me: “Maybe…”

(It’s five years later, and we’re married. My wife and I also have a little girl named Aerith!)

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Failure to Launch

| Romantic | November 10, 2011

(As I’m watching TV with my boyfriend, I notice that he seems to be in a bad mood.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Boyfriend: “I tried to seduce you a few minutes ago and you didn’t respond at all!”

Me: “You were trying to seduce me?”

Boyfriend: “Yes! I rubbed my foot against the back of your leg!”

Me: “That couldn’t have lasted more than three seconds! I thought your foot was asleep!”

(Unfortunately, this was a sign of things to come as we are no longer together.)

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Hopefully, His Love Isn’t Also Full Of Hot Air

| Romantic | November 10, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are sitting in bed watching TV. He turns to me with a loving look in his eyes.)

Boyfriend: *burping* “I…LOVE…YOU.”

Me: “Wow. Just wow.”

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Rose-Colored Glasses For The Perpetually Classless

| Romantic | November 9, 2011

(My husband is scraping the ice off of the windshield of our car, while I am sitting inside of it. He takes off his glove and draws a heart shape in the frost on the window with his finger. After he finishes scraping, he gets back into the car.)

Me: “Awww, thanks for the romantic heart drawing!”

Husband: “Oh…well, they were supposed to be balls.”

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They Were Also Dee-You-Emm-Bee

| Romantic | November 9, 2011

(I’m a guy and am at the pub with a couple of friends drinking. A group of five girls calls me over with a hand gesture. As I walk over, they ask me my name and I introduce myself.)

Girl #1: “Hey, would you sleep with her?” *points towards her friend, who we’ll call Girl #2*

Me: “Erm…probably not, no…”

(Girl #2 looks offended while the other girls exchange looks and giggles.)

Girl #2: “What, why not?”

Me: “Well, I’m a little bit gay.”

(There’s a short pause while the group processes this new information. Finally another girl, Girl #3, speaks up.)

Girl #3: “Are you ‘Gee’…”

(She makes a “G” shape with her hands…)

Girl #3: “‘Ay’…”

(She makes an “A” shape with her hands…)

Girl #3: “‘Wye’?”

(She makes a “W” shape with her hands. I have to stop myself from laughing.)

Me: “Yes, but that was a ‘W’ you made.”

(I walk off, leaving them, and head back to my friends.)

Friend: “Dude, they were hot!”

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