Know When To Disagree To Agree

| California, USA | Romantic | October 28, 2011

(Note: we’re sitting at home watching a sci-fi action movie.)

Me: “This is definitely a guy’s movie. The short nerdy guy gets the hot exotic model type.”

Husband: “Yep, every guy’s dream!”

Me: “Yeah, but in real life normal men get boring, plain women like me!” *laughs*

Husband: “That is so true…”

Me: *speechless*

Time To Ring Your Neck

| San Diego, CA, USA | Romantic | October 27, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are a fairly new couple. One day, he tells me that he’s gotten something for my birthday, and that we need to pick it up at the mall.)

Me: “Where are we going?”

Him: “It’s a surprise!”

(We walk into the elevator and go to the second story. The elevator doors open and we walk out.)

Him: “Okay, which way is Tiffany’s?”

Me: *my jaw drops* “Um, this way, to the left…”

Him: “Oh, good! We’re going this way to the right!”

(He takes me in the opposite direction of Tiffany’s. He didn’t get me a ring, so he’s lucky he didn’t get in as much trouble as he should have!)

Pet Names Unleashed

| UK | Romantic | October 27, 2011

(I’m working at a very crowded mall when a teenage girl yells in my direction.)

Teenage girl: “Where are you, my dumb pig?!”

Me: “Sorry, what are you looking for?”

Teenage girl: “My dumb pig disappeared. I left him right here and told him to wait for me.”

Me: “You left your pig here? Why wasn’t it on a leash?”

Teenage girl: “Not the animal kind of pig, my boyfriend!”

Chuck Almighty

| Boone, NC, USA | Romantic | October 27, 2011

(My boyfriend of 2 years and I have a long distance relationship, so we text message each other a lot. One “I love you more” argument happens like this…)

Boyfriend: “I love you more.”

Me: “No, I love YOU more.”

Boyfriend: “I love you more times infinity.”

Me: “I love you more times Chuck Norris.”

Boyfriend: “I love you more times Morgan Freeman’s voiceovers.”

Me: “D*** it.”

How To Wipe Out A Relationship

| Dayton, OH, USA | Romantic | October 27, 2011

(My sister is at her boyfriend’s house for dinner with his family. She’s excited and nervous because he’d told her it would be “a night you’ll never forget.” She has a habit of always unfolding napkins and setting them on her lap before eating, which he’s teased her about before. When she sits down, everyone stares at her, making her feel even more self-conscious.)

Sister: “What’s everyone looking at?”

Boyfriend: “Nothing. So, aren’t you going to open your napkin and put it on your lap?”

(My sister thinks he’s teasing her in front of his family, so she refuses.)

Sister: “No. No I’m not.”

(As dinner progresses, everyone continues to stare at her.)

Sister: *wipes mouth with napkin without opening it*

Boyfriend’s kid sister: *starts laughing uncontrollably*

Sister: “What?! What’s so funny?”

(The kid sister spills her drink from laughing, and my sister automatically reaches to clean up the spill with her napkin.)

Boyfriend: “Oh, for God’s sake!”

(He snatches the napkin from her hand, opens it, and sets it on the table in front of her. Written on the napkin are the words, “Will you marry me?” My sister stares in shock, and then bursts into tears. An awkward silence descends until she buries her face in her boyfriend’s shoulder.)

Boyfriend’s father: “Um. Is that a yes, then?”

(My sister nods, crying too hard to talk. His father proceeds to bring out a cake that says “Congratulations Ashley and Larry!” as my sister continues to cry.)

Boyfriend’s father: “We had another cake that said ‘Thanks Anyway!’ just in case.”

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