(My husband and I are in bed. I have had a long day and am very tired. He has just finished talking about something.)
Me: “Shhhh.”
Husband: “Huh?”
Me: “Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
Husband: “What?”
Me: “Sleep!”
Husband: “Oh, you were shushing me. I thought you were just deflating.”
(I am now wide awake from laughing so hard.)
(I receive a self-typed content of an e-card that my boyfriend sent to me for Valentine’s Day.)
“Girls can be annoying too much (you hit the top of the list)
But you aren’t as such (please don’t hit me with your fist)
Because I love you too much
Your eyes shine like the moon
Please stop waking up at noon
Or I’ll whack you with a spoon
I don’t know why my rhyming
has such odd intent
But that’s how I am
I didn’t even waste a cent
You’re the best (and only) girl friend I’ve ever had
You really aren’t that bad
You comfort me when I’m sad
And get scared when I’m mad
I’ll love you forever
When does that end? Oh right, never!
I await the rest of our little endeavor
My rhymes seem so clever
I hope this isn’t a caper
But I’ve run out of paper.”
(I wasn’t sure whether to be shocked, annoyed, or amused. Most likely the latter.)
(My partner and I recently got engaged. We have a lot of childish disputes and they usually end the same way.)
Him: “I hate you.”
Me: *waggling the finger with the engagement ring* “No, you don’t!”
(My friend has just been asked out in the most romantic way, with a bunch of roses in the park in front of all her friends. I am with a friend, who I have just started dating.)
Friend: “If I ever asked you out, I’d do it somehow like [friend’s name] asked her.”
Me: “Aw, that’s sweet.”
(A few days later, I am in bed with my ‘still not boyfriend’, in the middle of some fooling around.)
Friend: *stops what he’s doing* “Do you want to just be my misses?”
Me: “Um…okay?”
Friend: “Okay, I’ll change my Facebook to ‘in a relationship’!”
(I’m exhausted, and all I want to do is go to bed. It’s about 9:45 pm, and my fiancé is still wide awake. He decides to snuggle with me until I fall asleep.)
Fiancé: “I love you!”
Me: *muffled* “I love you, too.”
Fiancé: “So, when you go back to teaching tomorrow, do you have to do a lot of copies?”
Me: *silent*
Fiancé: “Do you want to go out to dinner for Valentine’s Day?”
Me: *angry grunt*
Fiancé: “Do you want me to just leave you alone?”
Me: *angry grunt*
Fiancé: “Do you… want cuddles?”
Me: *really angry grunt, and I turn to my side*
Fiancé: “I think you want to go to sleep.”
(Next morning…)
Fiancé: “It’s so cute when you’re sleeping.”
Me: “How so?”
Fiancé: “You still told me to shut up while I was on the computer in the other room.”
