(I’m having a mild allergic reaction and am puking my guts out in the bathroom. My fiancé, being dumbfounded, comes in to try and ‘help’ me.)
Me: “Go away! I’m all gross right now.”
Him: “No, no! I can hold your hair!”
(I throw up again.)
Him: *laughing* “I actually came in here because I think it’s hilarious the way you throw up. It’s like you’re surprised every time!”
(My husband and I are on our honeymoon, driving around a tourist area. We are talking about what we will do next.)
Me: “Want to get some pancakes?”
Husband: “Yes! Let’s get pancakes!”
(We pass by a gentlemen’s club.)
Me: “Or strippers? Want to go see strippers?”
Husband: “Huh, would I rather have pancakes, or strippers? …Pancakes.”
(My boyfriend and I are cuddling. I’m holding on to him while he’s trying to get up to get to class, and I’m whining and not letting go.)
Me: “No!” *force cuddling*
Him: *poking me randomly* “SECTUMSEMPRA!”
Me: *jumps away* “What?” *laughs*
Him: *laughing too hard* “I just wanted you to let me go.”
Related
(from NotAlwaysRight):
Totally, Like, Aguamenti
Totally, Like, Excruciatus
(My long distance boyfriend and I are texting each other. He sent me flowers for Valentine’s Day.)
Me: “My flowers are beautiful! <4”
Me: *fixing error* “<3 ^^^”
Boyfriend: “I <4 you, too.”
Me: “I don’t know if I <4 you… but I <3 you very much. So, I guess more of a <3.97?”
(My husband and I are in bed. I have had a long day and am very tired. He has just finished talking about something.)
Me: “Shhhh.”
Husband: “Huh?”
Me: “Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
Husband: “What?”
Me: “Sleep!”
Husband: “Oh, you were shushing me. I thought you were just deflating.”
(I am now wide awake from laughing so hard.)
