Return To (Relationship) Ender

| Romantic | September 22, 2011

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to order some flowers for delivery. I went on a date last night, and I’d like to show her I’m still thinking about her by sending her flowers.”

Me: “That’s sweet. what would you like?”

Caller: “I don’t know. What would you like?”

Me: “Well, you can’t go wrong with a dozen roses.”

Caller: “Sounds good. I’ll do that.”

Me: “Okay. How would you like to pay for that?”

Caller: “Cash on delivery.”

Me: “Wait a minute…you want to have flowers sent to your date, but you want her to pay for them?”

Caller: “Yeah, so? Can we do that?”

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Settling For Yes

| Romantic | September 21, 2011

(I’m talking to my mom about her marriage to my stepdad.)

Me: “I’m glad stepdad and I finally got you to say yes to marrying him, mom. We only had to ask six times!”

Mom: “Yeah, well…”

Me: “So, what made you change your mind?”

(A dreamy, in-love look comes across my mom’s face.)

Mom: “I just finally realized that he was the best I could do.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I probably wouldn’t tell him that, mom…”

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A Thread Giveaway

| Romantic | September 21, 2011

(A man comes to my till to buy a roll of satin ribbon. In his other hand, he is holding a tiny gift box of the kind used for jewellery.)

Me: “Oh, are you buying this to tie around the box?”

Customer: *slightly unsure* “Yes?”

Me: “Would you like me to tie if for you?”

Customer: “Oh yes, please!”

(I tie the ribbon in a lovely bow around the box.)

Me: “How’s this?”

Customer: *worried* “It…it may be too good…”

Me: *confused silence*

Customer: “If you saw this would you…would you think it’s a ring?”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “Would you think I was proposing? Because that wouldn’t be good.”

Me: “I think it’ll be okay.”

Customer: “Right. Well, if it all goes wrong, I’m coming back!”

(The customer leaves with his prettily tied box. So far, I haven’t seen him back. Hopefully this means I haven’t ruined his life!)

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For Teppanyaki Or Worse

| Romantic | September 20, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are on a date at a Japanese restaurant. It’s the kind where you are often seated with other customers. At our table are two older couples.)

Lady #1, to waiter: “We’ll take the check for the four of us. We’re celebrating their anniversary.”

Waiter, to other couple: “How long have you been married?”

Lady #2: “56 years!”

Husband #2, to us: “Are you married?”

My boyfriend: “No, I’m happy!”

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A Knight In A Shining Apron

| Romantic | September 20, 2011

(This happened about 5 years ago, when I was doing weekend work having just turned 18. A customer in his 50s approaches my checkout.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but why aren’t you wearing your ring? That’s very disrespectful.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but what ring?”

Customer: “You know, your wedding ring?”

Me: “I think you may have mistaken me for someone else. I’m not married–I’m only 18.”

Customer: “When I was your age, I was married and my wife was pregnant with our son! How can you not be married yet?! It’s getting far too late for you! No one will ever want to marry you at this rate!”

(I love the idea of romance, and am very emotional, so I have tears in my eyes, even though I know he is wrong. A male coworker has been listening the whole time and speaks up to defend me.)

Male coworker: “I disagree, sir. I, for one, would like to marry her.”

(In frustration, the man takes his shopping bags and storms out the shop, all the while muttering. My coworker and I went out for drinks after work, and now, five years on, he really is my fiancé! I suppose I have a lot to thank that man for!)

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