The Quickest Route To An Argument

| NY, USA | Romantic | December 3, 2011

(My family is getting ready to head to our cousin’s house for Thanksgiving. My parents are planning the route.)

Dad: “So, if we take this route–”

Mom: “Does this even matter? You have the GPS, and whenever I tell you what turn to make, you don’t believe me.”

Dad: “Yes, I do!”

Mom: “No, you don’t. You keep referring to the GPS!”

Dad: “Fine! We’ll just use the GPS tomorrow!”

(He playfully smacks mom with the handful of maps and runs.)

Mom: “You’re going to get it tomorrow in the car!”

Me: “What are you going to do to him?”

Mom: “If and when he asks me what turn to make, I’m just going to tell him ‘recalculating’.”

Me: *laughing* “Oh my god, you’re terrible!”

Mom: “Hey, I love your father. But he’s got to learn that hell hath no fury like an angry woman.”

Don’t Sweat The Sweater

| San Diego, CA, USA | Romantic | December 2, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are getting ready to go out to dinner. I am putting on a thick knit sweater.)

Boyfriend: “You look beautiful tonight, babe.”

Me: “Thanks, it’s this new sweater. I just love it.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, it’s like a really fancy poncho.”

(I turn around and look at him.)

Boyfriend: “I mean in a really good way! And, that it isn’t really a poncho at all! And, I love you!?”

Me: “Did my eyes narrow or something?”

Boyfriend: “Uh huh!”

Don’t Use As An Eyes Breaker

| USA | Romantic | December 2, 2011

(My fiancé is hugging me after coming home from work.)

Him: “You know, sometimes from close up you look like an alien.”

(I give him a quizzical expression.)

Him: “Cause you have, like, three eyes right now.”

Me: “You sure know how to charm a girl.”

Him: “They’re three very pretty eyes!”

I May Be Skittles, But You’re Not Smarties

| Richmond, VA, USA | Romantic | December 1, 2011

(I’m hanging out with my boyfriend. He suddenly decides I need a nickname.)

Him: “Hey, Skittles!”

Me: “What? You mean me?”

Him: “Yes. You are Skittles.”

Me: “Why did you go with Skittles? I don’t even like Skittles. It makes no sense.”

Him: “What, you don’t like your new name, Skittles?”

Me: “Not really, no.”

Him: *shouting* “Too bad! You is my Skittles!”

(He still calls me Skittles to this day.)

Shutting Down But Not Shut Down

| Texas, USA | Romantic | December 1, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are long distance. Every night before bed, I either call him on the phone or video chat with him. This night, since I am up late doing school work, we haven’t had a chance to talk until nearly 4 am. We are both exhausted, but try to make an effort for each other.)

Me: “Oh, but I got a B on that test from last week. I’m not very happy about it, bu-”

Boyfriend: “Hey, you know I love you right?”

(I am blushing, and not sure where that came from.)

Me: “Yes?”

Boyfriend: “Well, any other night I would love to hear you talk about this. Honestly, I’d just let you keep going. But, tonight I’m just so tired from work. So, could we just go to bed?”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry babe, you’re right. I’m sorry, I’ll let you go to bed.”

Boyfriend: “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

Me: “No, it’s okay. And babe? That was the sweetest ‘shut up’ I’ve ever gotten.”

Boyfriend: *laughing* “Oh, you’re welcome.”

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