(I have moved in with my fiancé after a long distance relationship. On top of everything else being drastically different from what I know, he has a water bed instead of a regular one. It is sometimes hard for me to move on it.)

Me: “Ugh! I just can’t get comfortable. Hang on…I need to get out of bed and then back in.”

Fiancé: “Wait…what?”

Me: “You know, like how dogs have to turn around 3 times before they’re comfortable. I need to get out then back in to get comfortable.”

(He goes quiet while I move around and get settled. Finally I am relaxing, and I can feel the bed moving.)

Me: “You know, I can feel you laughing at me.”

Fiancé: *he starts giggling madly* “Feel me laughing?! You can hear me laughing at you!”

(I leave for class or work before my boyfriend most days, and we often have very odd conversations while he’s still mostly asleep.)

Me: “I have to go now, I’m sorry.”

Boyfriend: “Nooo!”

(He sleepily nuzzles and sort of paws at me.)

Me: “Sorry, koala bear. I can’t be late.”

Boyfriend: “Koala bear? What?”

Me: “I don’t know…you just remind me of a koala bear when you’re sleepy, with all the nuzzling and sleepy faces.”

Boyfriend: “That’s bull. I’m not a koala bear.”

(He proceeds to try to prevent me from leaving by wrapping his arms and legs around me…just like a koala around a eucalyptus tree.)

(My boyfriend and I are walking across campus joking with each other, and I push him off the sidewalk.)

Me: “I like you so much, I push you off sidewalks.”

Boyfriend: “I like you so much, I’d pick you up and throw you in the mountain.”

Me: “I like you so much, I’d hit you in the face with a shovel.”

Boyfriend: “I like you so much, I’d push you down the stairs.”

Me: “No, save that for if I accidentally get pregnant!”

(I have a lot of moles all over my body, quite a few of which are pronounced bumps.)

Girlfriend: *stroking my back* “You know, your back would be perfect for reading Braille.”

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(I have a very crooked nose, and it is the least favourite part of my body.)

Me: “So, hun…what’s your favourite part of me?”

Fiancé: “Probably your nose.”

Me: “Eww, my nose? Why?!”

Fiancé: “Well, it’s just so bad, but I still love you. That must mean that I really love you!”