Proud As A Pea-brained Peacock

| Romantic | November 1, 2011

(I overhear this conversation between two guys.)

Guy #1: “I signed up for taekwondo class.”

Guy #2: “Really? That’s cool, man.”

Guy #1: “Well, I like this chick and started hitting on her. But her very muscular boyfriend came and told me to beat him up first. He even cracked his knuckles at me.”

Guy #2: “Dude! That’s not so cool now.”

Guy #1: “No, really! He’s looking for a fight. I need to prove myself!”

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Must Be Good (And Gassy) With Animals

| Romantic | October 31, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are watching the TV together, along with his golden retriever, Leo. Leo is a rather gassy dog and often makes big, oddly human burps.)

Leo: *large burp*

Boyfriend: *even larger burp*

Me: *speechless*

Boyfriend: “Your move, Leo.”

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The True Meaning Of Seeing Clearly

| Romantic | October 31, 2011

(Five teenage girls are sitting at a table. A couple tables away are two teenage guys. One of the guys appears to be staring at the girls through his sunglasses. The girls are arguing with each other about which one of them he is checking out.)

Me: “Uhh, girls…hate to burst your bubble, but he’s blind.”

Girls #1-#4: “Oh no!”

Girl #5, to the other girls: “Best news I’ve heard. Means I have just as much chance with him as you all do.”

(At this point, Girl #5 walks over and asks for the guy’s number, which he gives to her.)

Girl #1, to the blind guy: “Hey, you got the ugliest girl!”

Blind guy: “That’s the best thing about being blind. I can pay more attention to appreciating people for who they are, instead of judging by beauty. Dating is not a beauty contest.”

(Five months later, the girl and the guy continue to visit the restaurant regularly–minus the other four girls, since the two are now seriously dating!)

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And Fatheaded Men, Too

| Romantic | October 30, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are talking about Chinese wedding dresses after a friend of his got married.)

Me: “If we ever get married, I’m gonna have to get one made here before we go.”

Boyfriend: “Why? They do sell them there.”

Me: “Well, yes, but I’m not exactly shaped like a Chinese girl. ”

Boyfriend: “Oh, it’s okay. We have fat girls in China too!”

(For the record, I was referring to the fact that I have a decently sized chest. I did end up marrying him and found the one dress that fit me, too!)

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Caught In A Recession Romance

| Romantic | October 29, 2011

(My boyfriend and I have been caught by the police for having a little too much fun in his parked car. As part of the requisite talking-to while we are putting on our clothes, the officer gives him the following advice…)

Police Officer: “Man, this is a nice girl.”

Boyfriend: “I-I know.”

Police Officer: “You can’t treat her like this. You can’t take her to a parking lot. You gotta take her someplace nice.”

Boyfriend: “Like what?”

Police Officer: “Like the Econo-Lodge.”

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