Fight Of The Valkyries

Romantic | November 3, 2011

(As I am walking behind a couple, I see my manager walking towards us. My manager, who is a woman, winks at me and does an exaggerated smile.)

Woman: *turns to me* “Did she smile at you?”

Me: “Yes, it’s a joke between us.”

Woman: “Good, because I thought she was hitting on my husband. I was about to kick some a**!”

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I’ve Got A Bed Feeling About This

| Romantic | November 3, 2011

(My boyfriend and me have only been together for about 2 months. We are cuddling in bed after a romantic day out.)

Boyfriend: “Sweetheart, I love you!”

Me: “I love you, too!”

Boyfriend: “I know…”

Me: “…what?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I always wanted to quote Han Solo. You know the scene, when princess Leia tells him just before he freezes himself, don’t you?”

Me: *speechless*

Boyfriend: “This just seemed to be the perfect moment!”

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Guilty Of Perpetrating A Prank

| Romantic | November 2, 2011

(I have just been in a minor car accident and am on the phone with the local police department.)

Me: “Hi. I’ve just been rear-ended and need someone to come fill out an accident report.”

Officer: “Really? No, you weren’t.”

Me: “Um…yes…I was.”

Officer: “No…you weren’t.”

Me: “Yes…I was.”

(This back and forth continues for a bit.)

Officer: “Wait. What was your name?”

Me: *states name*

Officer: “Oh, my god! I’m so sorry! I thought you were my wife prank calling me! Someone will be right out!

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A Knight (While I’m) In Furry Armor

, | Romantic | November 2, 2011

(My parents are having dinner at a popular pizza arcade; it’s also where my little sister and I work. They happen to be sitting within earshot of the following conversation.)

My boss, to me: “You. Go put on the [character] costume for [male coworker’s] party.”

Me, to male coworker: “Aww, I hate having to wear that costume. I just know those kids are going to attack me again.”

(My male coworker wraps his arms around my shoulder.)

Male coworker: “It’s okay, I’ll protect you. If any little kids come up to you, I’ll beat them up for you!”

(He starts to walk me back to the costume room and we pass right by my parents.)

Mom: *yelling* “Quick! Marry him now! Your father would never beat up any little kids for me while I was wearing a rat costume!”

 

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Ain’t That A Kick In The Pants

| Romantic | November 2, 2011

(I’m reading when I hear my boyfriend scream.)

Me: “What happened?”

Boyfriend: “I hit my forehead!”

Me: “Aww, here’s a kiss. ”

(I kiss him on the forehead.)

Boyfriend: “You know, I also hit my crotch…”

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