A Concrete Excuse

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Romantic | December 9, 2011

(My husband works as the surveyor for a huge infrastructure project. I call him at work, while he is out in the field.)

Me: “Hey, do you want me to see if I can get a sitter for tomorrow night? We haven’t done date night in a long time.”

Husband: “Huh? Yeah, sure.”

Me: “Where do you want to go for dinner? I have a sexy new dress I think you’re going to like.”

(There’s no answer from my husband, but I can hear him muttering something about concrete.)

Me: “Hello? Hello! What are you doing?”

Husband: “Nothing. So, yeah, um, that sounds nice. Wait, what did you say?”

Me: “You know, you could at least pretend that you’re listening.”

Husband: “I am pretending!”

Love: The Final Frontier

| Newcastle, UK | Romantic | December 8, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are courting via Skype. I am an ex-Trekkie. We are discussing what I last recall watching of DS9. He’s more of a Star Wars nerd, so I’m watching for when his eyes glazing over.)

Me: “I remember one season, there was a visitor to DS9. She really, really fancied Q and Odo, and caused all sorts of problems. I can’t remember who she was or the episode or the season.”

(I flail geekily.)

Boyfriend: *sigh* “Lwaxana Troi.”

(We pause, followed by a mutual silence.)

Me: “I think I just had a geekgasm. Thank you.”

Boyfriend: “Want to see my collection of Star Trek autobiographies? I even have Grace Lee Whitney’s!”

Not Quite A Dream Job

| Richmond, VA, USA | Romantic | December 8, 2011

(It is Sunday morning, after Black Friday. I have been working retail all weekend and I am worn out to the max.)

Me: “I had some crazy dreams.”

Boyfriend: “Apparently, you were checking people out.”

Me: “What?!”

Boyfriend: “You woke me up, and said ‘Your total is $34.98. Do you have any coupons?'”

Me: “Oh my God, no way!”

Boyfriend: “I shook you so you’d wake up a little and dream about something else. I just knew I couldn’t let you dream that.”

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Ring Pop The Question

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Romantic | December 8, 2011

(I’ve been out of town for the last six days on a trip. I’m walking up the concourse to where my boyfriend is waiting for me. I hug him, then he drops to one knee.)

Him: “You know, we’ve only been together for five months. I know this is short notice, but the last six days have been hell and have really reaffirmed that I can’t live without you in my life. I want to spend my life with you and…”

(He pauses for breath and pulls out a Ring Pop.)

Him: “…I really want to be with you and I know I can’t afford much, but will you marry me?”

(At this point, other people are watching. Neither of us really cares as I attack-hug him with kisses.)

Me: “Yes!”

(I still have the ring from the Ring Pop, and we’re still together. The date is picked and rapidly approaching!)

Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

| Richmond, VA, USA | Romantic | December 7, 2011

(Two girls, looking to be in their late teens/early twenties–one blonde, one brunette–walk in. Their arms are linked. They talk under their breath for a minute, and then laugh. The brunette kisses the blonde’s cheek and they separate. My coworker prides herself on being open-minded.)

Coworker: “Aww! Look at them. They’re so cute.”

(My coworker goes over to the brunette.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you how cute the two of you are together. How long have you been together?”

Brunette: *thinks for a minute* “Uh, gosh. I guess it’s been, what, eighteen years now?”

(My coworker just stares.)

Brunette: *trying not to laugh* “We’re sisters.”

(My coworker doesn’t approach people she thinks are couples anymore.)

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