(My boyfriend is stroking my face. As his fingers come close to my face, I try to bite them. When he pulls away, I bite at his elbow.)

Boyfriend: “Argh! Zombie! Kill her!”

Me: “You’d really kill me if I was a zombie?”

Boyfriend: “Reluctantly.”

Me: “If you were a zombie I would join you.”

Boyfriend: *emotionally* “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me!”

(My boyfriend and I are watching a particularly sentimental scene on TV when he suddenly interrupts.)

Boyfriend: “D***, I should have bought spinach!”

Me *jokingly* “Wow, what a romantic thing to say at this point.”

Boyfriend: “Spinach can be romantic!”

Me: “No, not really.”

Boyfriend: “What if I made it into a heart shape?”

Me: “Erm…”

Boyfriend: “What if I covered the bed in spinach?”

Me: “Eww!”

Boyfriend: “What if it was a heart-shaped bed covered in spinach?”

Me: “I love you.”

Boyfriend: “I love you, too.”

(I touch my forehead to his, and look tenderly into his eyes. After a moment, he grins.)

Me: “What?”

Boyfriend: “You know, you look like a Cyclops when you’re this close.”

Me: “Really?” *can’t help but grin anyway* “I was trying to have a meaningful stare into your eyes.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I’m having a meaningful stare into your eye!”

(My girlfriend and I often talk to each other late at night via IM. She usually does so while lying in her bed, which unfortunately has resulted in her falling asleep without saying goodnight on more than one occasion.)

Me: “So, should I threaten to break up with you if you fall asleep again?”

Girlfriend: “No! That wouldn’t be nice! I might accidentally fall asleep!”

Me: “Wait, are you saying you’ve been falling asleep on purpose?”

Me: “You don’t show affection enough! You won’t even kiss me in public!”

Husband: “I wrote on your Facebook wall this week. That has to count for something, right?”