Romance Takes A Critical Hit

(My four friends and I play D and D on the weekends, I’m currently the DM and using the storyline I’ve created, I tend to make things easier or harder for my friends depending on how I feel or if they annoy me.)

(1. They enter a town and take a break in the town square where a statue of the local god is present.)

Friend #1: *whose character is wearing full metal armour* “I’m going to take a rest on the statue.”

Friend #2: *who has a high knowledge skill* “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Friend #1: *stares intensely* “I sit down on the statue’s base.”

Me: “Roll for dodging.” *rolls a four* “A giant bolt of lightning hits you as soon as you sit down. Lose three health.”

(2. They rest outside a dungeon after completing it, Friend #3 has brought along a female mercenary, whom he named Cecilia, in an attempt to flirt with her. Most of us are annoyed at him continually doing this.)

Me: “Night descends and you all rest. [Friend #3], roll.”

Friend #3: “I got a 7. Why?”

Me: “No reason. You all awake when the sunlight hits you, but you notice two things: one, you’ve been robbed, and two, Cecilia has vanished without a trace.”

Friend #3: “I hate you so much.”

Me: “I guess you could say she’s breaking your heart.”