Rolling Even On An Odd Story

, , , , , | Friendly | August 22, 2018

(We’re playing “Pen & Paper” in a group of five, not including our game master. We’re all playing characters who know some kind of magic. In game, we’re still sitting at the breakfast table, when we get an invitation to another place. We decide to head out.)

Guy #1: “Wait, I make myself one more cheese sandwich and stuff it into my pocket. I’ll wrap it into a napkin!”

(He’s getting odd looks from all of us, but okay. Fast forward six in-game-hours.)

Guy #1: *suddenly remembering* “Wait, I still have my sandwich! I pull it out.”

(Our Game Master rolls his dice.)

Game Master: “The sandwich bites you on your hand.”

Guy #1: “Ow! Can I distract it? Do I have something else like meat with me?”

Game Master: *takes his dice* “Odd or even?”

Guy #1: “Odd!”

Game Master: *rolls and sighs* “Yes, you do have a small piece of meat with you.”

Guy #1: “I feed it to the sandwich, in hopes it will let go of my hand. This time… Even!”

Game Master: *rolls with a pained look on his face* “It lets go of your hand and munches away.”

Guy #1: “Awesome, I want to keep it! Does someone have a lunchbox for me? Odd!”

Game Master: *rolls and buries head in his hands* “Yes… Oh, what did I do?!”

(By now the whole table is laughing hysterically.)

Guy #2: “Yep; I do! Here, take this!”

Guy #1: “I poke some holes for air into it and carefully put Cheddy, the cheddar sandwich, into his new home.”

Game Master: “What the h*** do you want a biting sandwich for?!”

Guy #2: “He could serve it to people he doesn’t like and have it bite them on their noses!”

(So, this is how we ended up with a growling, biting cheese sandwich as a pet. Sadly, it didn’t survive the session; now he has a living silver spoon, instead.)

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