Rise Of The Mummory

(I have almost no verbal filter, and, as such, I tend to say the first thing that comes into my head. I also have no shame, and am rarely embarrassed by anything I come out with. One day at school, I am sitting at a table with two friends and we are talking. I am a girl and my friends are both boys.)

Me: “I realised the other day that mums are called mummies because they have mammary glands.”

Friend #1: *puts his head in his hands and gazes downwards for several seconds, finding his voice* “That’s certainly very novel. Want a cookie?”

Me: *grinning* “But…”

(I trail off, not sure where I’m going with this. The conversation turns in a different direction. A few minutes later…)

Me: “But why not call them ‘mummory’ glands? Or ‘mammies’?”

Friend #2: “Just be quiet!”

Friend #1: “You’re listing off a whole bunch of fetishes right now. Like, all of them.”