The Number-One Problem Drivers Face These Days

, , , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

We don’t wash service cars at my dealership. We have a detail department and there is one wash bay, but we don’t have a drive-thru car wash and with our volume, it’s just not feasible to wash every car by hand one at a time. Since people tend to expect a free car wash out of a dealership service visit, we instead contract with a local car wash chain and hand out vouchers so customers can go there for a wash and vacuum.

A customer comes in irate. He had an oil change and tire rotation done at our shop last week. And he swears that during his service visit, someone peed in his car.

So, that’s already special. But making it even more special is what he claims is undeniable proof that someone peed in his car: when he came to pick it up, he was given a free car wash voucher. And why on earth would we have given him a free car wash voucher if we weren’t covering something up? Not only did someone pee in his car, we knew about it. There is, of course, no other reason we would have possibly given him a voucher for a free car wash. Except for someone peeing in his car.

It’s the only explanation.

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No Cash, No Time, No Reason

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

(I work at a big-box electronics store and we’re not allowed to tell people that we’re closing or ask them to leave once we have already closed. This takes place twenty-five minutes after we’ve closed for the day. This woman has been here for almost an hour trying to return something without a receipt and exchanging it for something else.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you do this return and web order?”

(I have a bad feeling that it might take a while and I am off in five minutes, but I’ve been told off for talking back to managers before, so I have no choice.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I try to get the woman’s phone number to do the return, but she turns to my manager and starts whining about not getting a free gift along with the new thing she is buying. After five minutes of my manager saying that there is no gift but that he will take $15 off the already on-sale item, she finally lets me do the return. It’s now over half an hour after we’ve closed and there are no more cash tills in the store open.)

Me: “Okay, your total is $73.85.”

(The woman tries to give me cash.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take cash anymore since we’ve been closed for too long.”

Customer: “I don’t know if I have enough in my bank account for it. Are you sure you can’t take the cash?”

Me: “No, ma’am. All of our tills have been put away. It would take another fifteen minutes to open them up again to take the cash.”

Customer: “Could you just give me a straight exchange, then? Just take more money off so that they’re the same price?” 

Me: *thinking to myself: “No f****** way!”* “I can’t say yes to that; I’ll have to grab my manager.”

(I head over to my manager and tell him what’s going on. He comes over.)

Manager: “I’ve already given you a discount on top of the sale. I can’t do anymore.”

Customer: “Aw, come on, [Manager].”

(She starts giving him puppy dog eyes and flipping her hair, trying to get him to say yes. Thankfully, this manager is better than that.)

Manager: “No, I can’t take anymore off. [My Name], you go clock out, since you were off fifteen minutes ago.”

(I did exactly that and the woman left pretty quickly since she wasn’t getting what she wanted.)

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No Price Is Good Enough For Dealing With You

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

(I work on a sales desk for a large construction stockholder; we stock basically everything you would find on a construction site from screws to forklifts, as well as some more unique items. As a lot of our work deals in bulk, we are able to give discounts for bulk purchases or customers who buy from us regularly. However, this leads to customers trying to haggle the price of everything. One day, I answer the phone to the worst customer I’ve yet dealt with.)

Me: “Good morning. [Company], this is [My Name]; how can I help?”

Customer: “Yeah, you can start by giving me some good prices.” *quickly lists five items, barely stopping between words* “So, what deal do I get with that?”

Me: “Okay, I can get you some prices. I just need to bring up your account; who am I speaking to?”

Customer: “God, talk about making this hard work! This is [Customer]. I don’t have an account with you. Is it that hard to give me a price that you need to stall?”

Me: *ignoring the rudeness* “No, I just need a company to attach the quote to, but no worries. I can put the quote on a blank account for the time being.”

(I start to go through the list, repeating back the item, the quantity, and the price.)

Customer: *interrupts* “It’s like talking to a f****** parrot! Just give me the prices!”

Me: “We repeat back the information so there is no confusion and nothing is missed. So, your last two items will be [price #1] and [price #2].”

Customer: “With my company discount? It’s [Company].”

Me: “Sorry, I thought you said you didn’t have an account with us.”

(I bring up the account; they have bought from us twice since we moved to an electronic system… nearly ten years ago.)

Me: “Right. Looking at your account, that is the best price I can do for those items.”

Customer: “That’s much too high! I will only pay [lower price], and I will not pay delivery!”

Me: “Those are the best prices I can do; however, as you are not far away, you don’t actually pay for delivery anyway.”

Customer: “Well, [Competitor] is cheaper than you, but I won’t use them because they charge for delivery.”

Me: *fed up of his rudeness but being polite* “Those are the best prices I can do. Perhaps you would like me to email you the quote and you can take some time to consider the options?”

Customer: “Well, [Competitor] is cheaper, but they don’t have any stock and no one else has, either.”

Me: “These are the best prices I can do. It seems you have a choice between waiting for stock or paying slightly more.” *literally pennies per item difference*

Customer: “Well, I will think about it.” *muttering as he hangs up* “Price gouging b****.”

(He came back to order his parts two weeks later. Most of the items he wanted had been sold out or back-ordered for months. Based on the sounds he made after I told him the happy news, he had either suffered a sudden onset case of Tourette’s syndrome or sat on a large cactus. I’m hoping for the cactus.)

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The Only Thing Broken Is Her Parenting  

, , , , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

(I am on break when this happens but my manager tells me about this. She and a coworker are working in the backroom, organizing and labelling boxes. A child opens the door and throws a mug at them.)

Mother Of Child: “Did the mug break?”

Manager: “No, but—”

Mother Of Child: “Oh, good. We don’t have to pay for it, then. Come along, [Child].”

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Has A Cone To Pick With The Customers

, , , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

I am usually upbeat at work and have earned the nickname “Friendly” for my ability to handle even the most difficult customer at the small convenience store I work at. On this day, however…

A customer is looking through a display of beverages in glass containers, and they are either too lazy to put it back on the shelf correctly or totally misjudge the distance, because after removing a bottle from the display to read the back, the customer replaces the bottle, where it immediately falls and breaks.

My coworker is up front on our second register, so I immediately close mine and run over to mark off the area with cones, put on an orange safety vest that shows a stick figure mopping on the back — to indicate I am busy with cleanup and cannot provide customer service at this time — and begin cleaning up.

For whatever reason, every. Single. Customer entering the store decides to walk directly through the sticky pile of glass and liquid I am trying to clean up, even though there are several cones in a circle blocking the mess from every angle and space for customers to walk down two different unobstructed aisles to go around me. 

At first, I attempt to be polite, but after about the fifth person walks past the cones to squeeze by me and literally crunches over the glass and slips on the puddle, I throw down the mop, which clatters to the floor, and scream, “STOP WALKING THROUGH THE F****** GLASS!”

I then calmly pick up the mop and continue cleaning. The store is absolutely silent for the next minute as I clean up the mess, put away the cones, and return to my register.

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