(I’m kind of petite, so when I’m in the box office I get a lot of kids who seem to think they can intimidate me into selling them R-rated tickets. This particular customer is a classmate of my little sister’s who annoys everyone by walking around repeating ‘I like eggs’ over and over and over again.)

Kid: “Me and my friend want to see Beerfest.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you the ticket.”

Kid: “Excuse me?”

Me: “You’re not seventeen.”

Kid: “How the h*** do you know?”

Me: “One, you don’t look it. Two, you’re in my sister’s class.”

(The kid stomps off, and goes to the other side of the box office to try the same thing. When it doesn’t work, he comes back with his father.)

Kid’s Father: “Let me get this straight. It’s a movie theater… and you can’t discriminate against customers… but you won’t let my boy into that movie because he’s too young?!”

Me: “It’s rated R, sir.”

Kid’s Father: *to his son* “You told me it was PG-13.”

Kid: “She’s lying!”

Me: “Sir, the marquee says it’s rated R. Any website you look at will say it’s rated R. There’s really no way to lie about it.”

Kid’s Father: “I guess that means I have to go with him, huh?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Kid’s Father: *to his son* “That’s it. You’re waiting for DVD.”

Kid: “This is so not fair! You can’t do this to me!” *to me* “Don’t you know who I am?!”

Me: *calmly* “My sister tells me you like eggs.”

Kid’s Father: *laughs hysterically* “If I could give you a high five, I would!”

(I work at a gay male bar as a bouncer. I normally escort or throw out guys due to inappropriate behavior. One day, however, the manager calls me over to throw out a woman. Afterwards, I ask the manager what happened.)

Me: “What was that about?”

Manager: “She kept on insisting to meet me to implement a suggestion for the bar.”

Me: “Oh… so why did you have me kick her out?”

Manager: “She was insistent, and got more and more agitated when I told her we’d never do that.”

Me: “And what was her suggestion?”

Manager: “She said we should have Ladies Night so that more men would come here.”

(I work at a fast food restaurant that gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)

Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”

Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”

Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”

Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [Restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six-dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”

(I am one of the several female employees that work at my video game store. On this particular day, all the employees at work are female.)

Coworker #1: “Thank you for calling [Game Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

(After a few seconds, my coworker hangs up the phone. I don’t think too much of it until the next phone call a few minutes later.)

Coworker #1: “Thank you for calling [Game Store]—”

(Again, my coworker hangs up.)

Me: “Why’d you hang up? Wrong number?”

Coworker #1: “No, I can hear the click when they hung up. They’ve been calling all day and hanging up without asking anything. You try next time.”

(As expected, the phone rings again and I answer.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Game Store]—” *to my coworker* “Ah, they hung up!”

(This goes on for the rest of the day until later that night when I’m working with another female coworker. The phone rings, and she answers.)

Coworker #2:: “Thank you for calling [Game Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?” *turns to me* “Huh, that’s odd. I think they hung up on me.”

Me: “Oh, yeah… that’s been happening all day. I wonder why…”

(After deliberating for a while, we guess that the callers have been hanging up because we’re girls, and they want to talk to a male employee. I decide to test our theory the next time the phone rings.)

Me: *in a deep voice* “Thank you for calling [Game Store]. How may I help you?”

Male Caller: “Yeah, I was wondering if you had a game in stock.”

Me: “Okay, what game are you…”*unable to maintain my deep voice, I squeak the next words in my normal pitch* “…looking for?”

Male Caller: *instantly hangs up*

(Later that evening, one of our male coworkers comes in to purchase a game. Upon witnessing one of the phone calls, he asks what is going on and we explain it to him. The next time the phone rings, he answers the phone.)

Male Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Game Store]. How can I help you?”

(The caller tells my coworker what game he needs, but my coworker explains he can’t help him since he’s not on the clock. My male coworker hands the phone back to me.)

Me: *to the caller* “Okay, so you were looking for [Game] and—” *to my male coworker* “He hung up again.”

Male Coworker: *laughing* “Seriously?! From what you’ve told me, he’s been calling to ask about one game for eight hours and he can’t stay on the line long enough to listen to you because you’re a girl!”

Customer: “Do I have signal where I live?”

Me: “I would be happy to check for you. What is your city and state?”

Customer: “I live in Alamb-ma.”

Me: “What is the zip code where you live in Alabama?”

Customer: *gives me a zip code*

Me: “That zip code is a Georgia location. You wanted coverage for Alabama, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t know the zip code, so I made one up.”

Me: “That’s fine. Let’s try searching by city name instead.”

Customer: “It begins with T-A-L-L… but… I don’t know the letters after that.”

Me: “Why don’t I just pull up the map for the entire state for you…”