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The customer is NOT always right!

Math Is Your Friend, Part 2

, , | Right | April 4, 2008

(I used to work at a sandwich shop. We were having a special where you could get four or more of our smaller sandwiches for $2.99 each. Some customers don’t understand the concept of simple.)

Customer: “Do you have any specials today?”

Me: “Yes, you can get four or more 6″ subs for $2.99 each.”

Customer: “Do I have to get four?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Why? I’ll only be able to eat one.”

Me: “The computer won’t let me ring up the deal unless you order four or more sandwiches.”

Customer: “Okay, then I’ll get four turkeys.”

(The customer goes through his sandwich-topping business, and we finally make it to the register.)

Me: “Okay, four 6″s comes to $11.96.”

Customer: “I thought they were only $2.99 each.”

Me: “They are. Four times $2.99 is $11.96.”

Customer: “I think you’re charging me too much. Can I see a receipt?”

Me: *prints a receipt*

Customer: “Your prices are wrong, I know it!”

(I take out a calculator and do the math. It comes out to $11.96.)

Customer: “Oh… I still don’t understand, but whatever!” *pays and leaves*

Related:
Math Is Your Friend

The Adventures Of Captain Obvious

, , , , , | Right | April 4, 2008

Me: “Would you like the 4-piece meal or the 6-piece meal?”
Customer: “What’s the difference?”

——–

Me: “Would you like the quarter pound classic burger or the half pound classic burger?”
Customer: “Which one is bigger?”

——–

Customer: “How big is the 6 inch?”

——–

Customer: “How many come in a four-pack?”

——–

Customer: “Is your Sunday special on Sundays only?”

——–

Customer: “Does your turkey chic pea chili soup have beef in it?”

——–

Customer: “What flavor is your vanilla ice cream?”

——–

Customer: “What’s the difference between the lemon and the vanilla?”

——–

Customer: “Hi, do you sell books here?”
Me: “This is a bookstore, ma’am.”

——–

Me: “Thank you for calling Pittsford Plaza Cinema, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, hello. Are you located in the Pittsford Plaza?”

——–

Me: “Thank you for calling Saltgrass Steakhouse in Meyerland Plaza where our gift cards make great holiday stocking stuffers. How may I assist you?”
Customer: “Hi, is this Saltgrass?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “In Meyerland right?”
Me: “Yes…”
Customer: “Do you have giftcards?”‘
*click*

Everyone’s A Comedian

, , , | Right | April 4, 2008

(A customer calls our store and asks about a computer.)

Customer: “Hello, I was wondering how big the hard drives in y’all’s computers are?”

Me: “Well the largest hard drive size we have is 1 terabyte. You can get four of those–”

Customer: *cuts me off* “A terawhat? I’ve heard of a pterodactyl!” *screeches like a pterodactyl might have and hangs up the phone*

Montgomery Scott’s Early Days At The Copy Shop

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2008

Customer: “My son is locked out of the house and I need to send him the key!”

Me: “We can overnight the key and have it to him by 10:30 am tomorrow morning. Shall we send the key to the neighbor’s house?”

Customer: “No, he needs it right now! Why can’t I just fax it?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t fax a key.”

Customer: “Why not? He’s locked out and needs the key!”

Me: “Because a key is a three-dimensional object, not a document.”

(Customer stares at me.)

Me: “Ma’am, is your fax machine in your house?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “How will your son get into the house to get the key from the fax machine if he is locked out?”

Customer: “D*** it! You’re right! Well, thanks for your time!”

Me: “I do what I can.”

Big Ticket Items Will Require A Goat

, , , | Right | April 3, 2008

(It was late into my eight-hour shift at a huge retail drugstore chain, and I was getting tired of dumb questions.)

Customer: “Do you take credit cards here?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We only take live chickens and large rocks.”

(The customer actually had a sense of humor and started laughing, while my manager was laughing too hard to yell at me.)