(I have just finished serving a mother, but her daughter has dropped her juice so I have to mop up the spill. As part of our goodwill policy for spills, I also give the little girl another juice on the house. I then began serving the next customer.)

Next Customer: “You shouldn’t have given her a free juice. It’s her own fault for being clumsy!”

Me: “Well, it’s part of our goodwill policy. Accidents do happen, you know.”

Next Customer: “Well, children shouldn’t be in a place like this in the first place. People should take responsibility for their actions!”

(The customer takes her coffee, and as she approaches her seat she trips over her own feet and tosses her mug across the table. She splashes coffee everywhere: on the wall, on the floor, and all over the table and chairs.)

Next Customer: *sheepishly* “I spilled my coffee. Can you make me another one to take away, please?”

(I am working in the electronics section of a store. A customer approaches me to get a calculator for doing taxes. I ensure she has a decently priced calculator, two rolls of paper and extra batteries since she doesn’t have a power adapter. She leaves happily. A few hours later, she returns.)

Customer: *holds the calculator like a hurt puppy* “Something is wrong with the calculator.”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry to hear that. What seems to be wrong?”

Customer: “The display doesn’t seem to be working. I wanted to see about a refund, if possible.”

Me: “Sure, let me take a look at it.”

(I begin to take a look over the calculator, checking things like ensuring the batteries are inserted properly, that there’s no visible damage to the casing, and that the calculator had been switched to the “on” position. My eyes wander to the display, and then I look back at her.)

Me: “I can see why the display isn’t working.”

Customer: “Oh, good! Could you fix it?”

(I remove the demo sticker that goes over the display, and hold out the now-working calculator to the customer.)

Customer: “Um… thank you…” *leaves, embarrassed*

(I am standing in line at a bookstore. The customer in front of me is getting rung through. She’s about forty-five, and the cashier is maybe nineteen.)

Customer: “Have you read these?” *holds up 50 Shades Darker*

Cashier: “Oh… no.”

Customer: “Oh, you MUST! They’re amazing!”

Cashier: “So I hear.”

Customer: *puts the book to her chest* “Oh, they’re just amazing!”

Cashier: “Uh huh.”

(The customer proceeds to go on and on about how sexy and scandalous the books are. The cashier is doing her very best to ignore her and just ring her through.)

Customer: *after paying* “Oh, thank you very much! One more thing: do you know where I can buy some batteries?”

(The wine store I work at has a fully functional bar. On this particular night, the store is very busy as we are having a wine tasting that is open to the public. This day also happens to be the one before my birthday. I am mixing a drink for a well-to-do regular customer).

Customer: “So, how have you been lately?”

Me: “Pretty good.”

Customer: “What time will you be in tomorrow?”

Me: “I actually have the day off. It is my birthday.”

Customer: “Oh, is it? Did [Owner] get you anything nice?”

Me: “I doubt it.”

Customer: “Well, that is too bad. Hey, could you help me find a good Portuguese wine?”

(For the next ten minutes, I show him red blends, Riojas, and other wonderful Portuguese wines.)

Customer: “If you could get any of these, which would you get?”

Me: “Well, that depends. Most of these are out of my price range, but this $10.99 bottle would be great.”

Customer: “But I want the best one that is over here, regardless of price.”

(I show him a really good one that is $60 a bottle.)

Customer: “I want this one. Can I buy it, set it on the counter, and enjoy some more drinks at the bar?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

(The customer stays for a few more hours talking to me about the college I had gone to, and jobs I am interested in. About an hour before closing, he says it is time to go, and heads to the counter where his purchases are still sitting. I proceed to clean up the bar as he approaches me.)

Customer: “I thought it a shame that a person as friendly and knowledgeable as you didn’t get a birthday gift after working here for years. This is yours.”

(He hands me a wrapped bag, and when I unwrap it, it is the expensive wine I had recommended. As I look up to thank him, he is already out the door, but he gives me a wave and a large smile. It is people like that who make working a minimum wage job worth it!)

(I work at a well-known retail pharmacy. One night while I’m still new on the job, I’m manning one of the cash registers.)

Woman: “Hi, where is your baking soda?”

Me: “Um, I can’t guarantee that we have baking soda, but if we do, it would be in aisle three.”

Woman: *goes off to look for it*

(Fifteen minutes later, the customer comes through my line with her baking soda.)

Me: “Oh, I see you found it! I’m glad we carry it.”

Woman: “If you hadn’t, I would have been very frustrated, and I would never have come here again!”

(I think she’s joking and laugh a bit.)

Me: “Well, I’m certainly glad you found it!”

Woman: *completely serious* “I did that to [other retail store] when they didn’t have lettuce, and they went out of business within a week!”

Me: *pause* “Um… I’m REALLY glad you found the baking soda, then.”