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The customer is NOT always right!

Seek, And Ye Shall Find…Eventually

, , , , , | Right | January 7, 2009

Customer: “Hi. Can I have a cappuccino please?”

Me: “Uh… sorry, ma’am, but you’re in a furniture store. We don’t sell coffee.”

Customer: “I didn’t ask for coffee, I asked for a d*** cappuccino!”

Me: “Well, we don’t sell those either.”

Customer: *looking hurt* “Why not?”

Me: “We sell furniture. Look around you…”

Customer: *starts crying* “This is the fourth time this has happened on this street!” *runs out*

(As it turns out, she’d gone into a clothing store, a pharmacy, and a grocery store, just to find herself a cappuccino.)

This story is part of the Obnoxious-Coffee-Orders roundup!

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We Have Confirmation

, , , | Right | January 7, 2009

(Our credit card machine went down, and we start to make signs for the doors alerting the customers to this. Before the signs get up, I have to ring up a customer’s order.)

Me: “The total is [total]. I’m sorry; our credit card machine is down.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t see any signs!”

Me: “The machine just broke five minutes ago while you were still in line. I was just telling my coworker to make signs a moment ago…”

Customer: “I don’t have enough cash. How about debit?”

Me: “Well, debit would use the same machine as the credit cards, but either way our store does not accept debit. Just cash today.”

Customer: “How about a check?”

Me: “Sorry, no personal checks. Just cash today.”

Customer: *getting upset now* “Well, what do you expect me to do?”

Me: “The last customer went next door to use the ATM to get cash.”

Customer: “You’re being extremely rude, you know!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to explain to you that the credit card machine is down.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t listen!”

Me: “…”

Land That I Love

, , , , , | Right | January 6, 2009

(I receive this call from a customer requesting website support.)

Customer: “I want to order from you, but it says that my state is ‘Invalid’!”

Me: “What state are you putting in?”

Customer: “‘The Great State Of Texas!'”

Me: “Are you putting that whole phrase in the box?”

Customer: “Well, it ran out of room after the ‘t’ and the ‘h.'”

Me: “When you put in the state on our site, you need to use the two-letter state code set up by the United States Post Office.”

Customer: “What do you mean by that?”

Me: “The United States Post Office has a code for each state and territory of the United States. Texas would be ‘TX.'”


Me: “Actually, I’m pretty sure that the United States Post Office would know that ‘TX’ is ‘The Great State Of Texas.'”

Customer: *types it in* “Oh, look at that; it worked. Can you hold on for a second? I want to call the Postmaster of our town and confirm this.”

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It Was Only A Suggestion

, , , | Right | January 6, 2009

Me: “All right sir, here’s your meal.”

Customer: “Thanks a lot!”

Me: “Have a nice day.”

Customer: *serious* “Don’t tell me what to do!”

Finger Lickin’ Good Parenting

, , , , , | Right | January 6, 2009

(A man walks up to our hot case with his wife and two little girls.)

Me: “Hi! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, we wanted to get some chicken strips.”

(As I am taking his order, I notice his daughters are licking the hot case glass.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, but your daughters are licking the glass.”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well… aside from the fact that the glass is hot, we cleaned it this morning with a chemical cleaner to wash off a layer of grease build-up.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “The chemical we used is a known carcinogen. I might suggest that you stop your daughters from ingesting it.”

Customer: “Look, lady. You’ve obviously never been a parent. When you have kids, you’ll learn that it’s MUCH easier to just let your kids do whatever they want.”