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The customer is NOT always right!

Our Great Dumbocracy

, , | Right | November 17, 2008

(A woman in medical scrubs with a name badge enters the store and approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Helllooo! How are YOU tonight?”

Me: “I’m doing well. How are you?”

Customer: “Oh, just fine. Are you voting in this year’s election?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Customer: “Have you considered John McCain?”

Me: “Well, no, not really.”

Customer: “No? Who are you voting for, OBAMA?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “OBAMA! HA HA HA!”

(She continues to laugh maniacally, inserting “OBAMA” between laughs. After a little while, she comes to the register with a few rentals.)

Customer: “Hellooo! How are you tonight?”

Me: “Still doing well… did you find what you were looking for?”

Customer: “Have you thought at all about this year’s election?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “We just had this conversation.”

Customer: “Oh. Who are you voting for? I’m voting for Obama. I just want our troops to come home.”

Me: “You just laughed at me for not wanting to vote for McCain!”

Customer: *confused look* “Really? I’m so tired when I get out of work!”

Drunk Dialin’

, , , | Right | November 12, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Phone Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: *slurring* “Yeeeaah, you f***ers owe me a 40 of Jack Daniels!”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “I SAID YOU OWE ME A 40 OF JACK!”

Me: “Why is that, sir?”

Customer: “Well, youse is the phone company, right? Youse guys make the phones ring, right?”

Me: “Umm…”

Customer: “My phone f***ing rang and I knocked my bottle over tryin’ to get it.”

Me: “Oh, right.” *laughs*

Customer: “YOU THINK I’M JOKIN’?! Get me a manager!”

Me: “Sir, we’re not responsible for you knocking over your liquor.”

Customer: “Yes, you f***in’ are! I want a credit on my bill!”

Me: *click*


This story is part of the Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup!

Read the next Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup story!

Read the Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup!

PB&Js In My PJs

, , , , | Right | November 12, 2008

Me: “Hello?”

Male caller: “Hi, I’d like a #9 and–”

Me: “Uh, excuse me?”

Male caller: “That was a #9.”

Me: “This isn’t a sandwich store.”

Male caller: “No? Where am I calling?”

Me: “My… house?”

Male caller: “Oh. Can you make me a sandwich anyway?”

While You’re At It, Do My Taxes Too

, , , | Right | November 12, 2008

(It’s May 5th, and I’m remotely connected to a customer’s computer helping her with a billing issue.)

Customer: “What race are you?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well, I’m only asking because it’s Cinco De Mayo, and I’m Mexican. Well, I have Mexican blood.”

Me: “Oh.”

Customer: “I need to go drink margaritas now. Could you just stay in my computer and do my billing for me? I’ll come back in the morning and print the bills out.”

Me: “…”

Label Whores

, , , | Right | November 10, 2008

Customer: “I saw in your flier that y’all sell Swarovski crystal beads. Where would I find those?”

Me: “In the beading aisle, ma’am. It’s the third up from the back, and the beads should be at the end nearest the wall.”

Customer: “I already looked there! There aren’t any!”

Me: “Oh, here they are, right here.”

Customer: “Wait… are you sure? Those don’t say Swarovski on them.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, they do, right here.”

Customer: “Show me the ones that say Swarovski on them!”

Me: “These ones right here, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, no, no! The ones that SAY ‘Swarovski’ ON THEM! Not on the cardboard!”

Me: Wait… you want them to say Swarovski on the bead itself?”

Customer: “Yes, of course!”

Me: “Ma’am, these beads are tiny. There wouldn’t be room to write ‘Swarovski’ on them even if they wanted to or could. ”

Customer: “Well, then, why bother?”