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The customer is NOT always right!

Unlimited Nights, Weekends and Spelling

, , | Right | June 29, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company Wireless]. May I have the ten-digit number you’re calling about today?”

Customer: “Yes, can you spell thousand for me?”

Me: “… excuse me?”

Customer: “Can you spell thousand?”

Me: “Um, sure. T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D.”

Customer: “T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D.”

Me: “Yes that’s correct…”

Customer: “Okay, thank you. Can you spell fifteen?”

Me: “Um, excuse me–”

Customer: “Can you spell fifteen?”

Me: “F-I-F-T-E-E-N.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you!” *click*

Me: “???”


This story is part of the Peculiar Customers roundup!

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It Doesn’t Take Much To Get A Guy Going

, , , , , | Right | June 28, 2008

(I work at the drive-thru of a certain fast-food restaurant that has milkshakes that come with these massive tube straws, roughly the width of a nickel, and bright blue.)

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. You’ve got those blue straws, right?”

Me: “Yeah, we do. They come with our Sundae Shakes.”

Customer: “Cool. Gimme two. Don’t forget the straws!”

Me: “Okay….”

(I tell him the total and ask him to pull up…)

Customer: “You sure these come with those blue straws?”

Me: “Yes, they do…” *hands him his change*

Customer: *to his girlfriend* “Blue turns me on…”

(I grab the straws and hand them out the window. After they pulled away, I burst out laughing for a good five minutes.)


This story is part of the Customers-Sharing-TMI roundup!

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Read the Customers-Sharing-TMI roundup!


This story is part of the Drive-Thru roundup!

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What Strange Magic Is This

, , , , , | Right | June 28, 2008

Me: “Sporting goods, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need a tennis racquet. The one I have is the wrong one.”

Me: “What kind of tennis racquet are you looking for?”

Customer: “I’m a lefty. I need a left-handed tennis racquet.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Hello? Are you still there? Do you have any left-handed tennis racquets?”

Me: “Ma’am, just put the one you have in your left hand. It’s now a left-handed tennis racquet.”

Customer: “Oooh! I’m going to kill my husband!” *hangs up*


This story is part of our Bickering Couple roundup!

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She Fought The Law… And The Law Won

, , , | Right | June 28, 2008

(This is one of those chains that does gunned ear piercings. Gun piercings have MANY risks–embedding being one of them. A customer walks in with two children, ages about four and seven.)

Customer: “The stone fell out of her earring. Can you put a new one in?”

Me: *examines ear* “Ma’am, the earring is embedded in your daughter’s ear. You need to go to the doctor. I can’t help you.”

Customer: “No, stone fall out of earring, we just need new one.”

Me: “No, ma’am. You see, putting them back on too tight like this pulls the front of the earring INTO the earlobe and it becomes stuck.”

Customer: “Okay, you take out.”

Me: “You aren’t getting it… it is stuck inside her ear. A doctor needs to cut her ear open with a scalpel and retrieve the earring.”

Customer: *freaks out and starts stringing expletives together*

(I retrieve her waiver to show her where she signed in FOUR places stating she understood the risks associated with the procedure.)

Me: “See? You signed here explaining you understood the risks and aftercare.”

Customer: “There was a line, I no read dis! Nobody read dis!”

Me: “Well, if you had taken the time to read you would have seen that this can be dangerous.”

(She threatened my life, swore like a sailor in front of my customers, was chased by security, and provided them a false name. I took her to court… and she lost.)


This story is part of our Even More Dangerous Parent’s roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories Of Truly Terrible Parent Customers

 

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Digging Your Way Out Of A Hole, Part 3

, , , , | Right | June 28, 2008

(I’m the manager at a video rental store, and the owner happens to be there with me.)

Customer: “I’d like to open an account.”

Me: “Okay, to open a membership we need a California issued I.D and a major credit card.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have one.”

Me: “Which one?”

Customer: “The credit card.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid we can’t open the account.”

Customer: “Oh, I talked to the manager last week. He said it was alright if I didn’t have a credit card.”

Me: “Oh really? I don’t recall telling anybody that last week.”

Customer: *nervously* “… then it was the owner who told me that.”

Me: “I don’t think he would say that.”

Customer: “Yeah he did. He said it was fine. Just make me the d*** membership! The owner said it was fine.”

Me: “Okay…” *I turn to the owner*

Me, to the owner: “Hey, did you tell anyone last week that they could make a new account without a credit card?”

Owner: “No, I never said that ever.”

Customer: *walks away with his head down*