(I am working in the office supplies section in late July.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have any more of these pencil boxes?”

Me: “Right over here.” *points*

Customer: “Great. I need 29 more. I’m a first-grade teacher.”

Me: “That’s nice of you.”

Customer: “There’s only five left in the blue.”

Me: “I apologize, but we do have 20 black ones left. Except for the color, they are identical.”

Customer: “I can’t get black for first graders. It will scare them.”

Me: “Okay. Well, you can try the back to school area, but I doubt they’ll have more than one or two blue left. You’ll have to keep coming back throughout the summer to get 29 more in the blue.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you.” *scoots off to school section*

(Not fifteen minutes later, the customer is back putting black cases in her cart.)

Me: “I see you decided to get the black ones after all; excellent choice.”

Customer: “I know. Now I have to cover them in stickers so the children won’t be scared!”

This story is part of the Back To School roundup!

Read the next Back To School roundup story!

Read the Back To School roundup!

Customer: “Can you tell me how to get to your mall?”

Me: “Sure; just tell me where you’re coming from and I’ll give you directions.”

Customer: “I’m not telling you where I live.”

Me: “That makes it hard for me to tell you how to get here.”

Customer: “Oh. Washington, D.C.”

Me: “Hop a plane to Cincinnati; call me when you get here.”

(The hardware chain I work for sets up a Christmas tree lot every year and sells fresh cut trees. One evening, a customer comes into the lot ahead of his family, who are still getting out of the car.)

Me: “Good evening! Tree hunting tonight? Are you after anything in particular?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know anything about them. I’m just looking for a tree.”

(I launch into a quick explanation of the three types of tree we carry; Noble firs, Douglas firs, and Grand firs.)

Me: “…and so Noble firs are pretty popular, since they hold their needles a bit better than the Douglases, as well as having stronger branches.”

(A few moments later, the customer’s wife and children catch up and walk into the lot. The customer, beaming with his new-found understanding of Christmas tree nuance points a tree out to his wife.)

Customer: “This is the kind of tree that we want. It has better needles than the others, because it has what you call, noble fur!”

(It’s about 32°F out. I’m walking into the store before my shift; I’m not wearing a coat because I forgot it at home. I am stopped by a customer loading his groceries into his car.)

Customer: “You must be freezing!”

Me: “Oh, it’s not so bad.”

Customer: *shakes his head* “It’s too cold to not have a coat! You should hurry inside!”

Me: “I will; have a good day, sir!”

(Half an hour later, the same customer comes through my line with a brand new winter coat draped over one arm.)

Customer: *hands me the coat* “Everyone deserves to be warm in the winter.”

Me: *shocked* “Thank you, sir, but I can’t—”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it; just pay it forward.”

(He left before I could get another word in. Not personally needing the coat, I donated it to a local coat-drive, along with $200 my co-workers and I collected by sharing the story amongst ourselves and other customers.)

Did you find this story using our Grocery Store Workers roundup?

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!

(I’m a semi-regular patron of a local coffee shop. I witness this exchange taking place.)

Customer: “I’ll take a venti caramel machiatto, a venti iced peppermint mocha, and a venti butterscotch latte.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, we don’t offer any of those flavors apart from the peppermint mocha.”

Customer: “Well, of course you offer those. I was just looking at your online menu.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, we have never offered venti sizing. We just call it large. And we have never offered caramel machiatto or butterscotch lattes. I’m not sure any coffee shop offers butterscotch lattes.”

Customer: “I want a f***ing caramel machiatto and a butterscotch latte!”

Cashier: “If you’ll look at the menu, we do offer a salted caramel.”

Customer: “I don’t want a f***ing salted caramel. I can’t have salt; I’m on a no-salt diet. Let me speak to your manager.”

(The manager is called, and repeats the same thing the cashier has been saying.)

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t just f***ing make me my f***ing coffee order. It isn’t that difficult! Three venti coffees, one a caramel machiatto, one an iced peppermint mocha, and one a butterscotch latte. For f***’s sake, I order the same thing every day!”

Manager: “That isn’t possible, as we don’t offer two of those drinks. I think you want the [popular coffee chain] down the road.”

Customer: “No, I always come here and get those three drinks! I want my f***ing coffee and I’m not leaving until I get it.”

(Finally, I’ve had enough, and I speak up.)

Me: “Ma’am, they’ve told numerous times that they don’t offer those drinks. You don’t seem to get it, so I’m going to explain it again. This shop does not offer caramel machiattos or butterscotch lattes. They do not refer to their larges as ‘venti’. I’m sure they would be happy to make you a large iced peppermint mocha, but they cannot make you the other drinks. You would have to go somewhere else for them.”

Customer: “I’m not leaving until I get my f***ing drinks!”

Me: “Then you’ll be waiting an awfully long time. Meanwhile, there is a line behind you, and I’m now twenty minutes late for class, so if you would kindly get out of the way so I can order?”

(The customer mutters about the quality of service and swears not to come back, but leaves.)

Manager: *to me* “Whatever you’re getting, it’s on the house for getting rid of her. Just don’t try to order a venti.”