(A young girl drives a cart load of her younger sister and some clothing to my register. I always hate to begin checking children out without their parents present. This girl appears to be about seven years old, and the younger sister is three. The seven year old begins to grab items out of the buggy when she realizes that her sister is stepping on some of her items. She begins fussing at her sister as if she is her mother.)

Seven year old: *to her sister* “I done told you not to be standing on my stuff. Get out of this buggy, little girl!”

Me: “Let’s wait to check you out until mom is ready okay, sweetie?”

Seven year old: “She’s ready!” *yells to her mother, who is still shopping* “Let’s go!”

Mom: “Okay, I’m ready!”

(I begin scanning her items and come upon a pair of jeans that is on sale.)

Me: *to the mom* “This pair of jeans is part of our ‘Buy One, Get One’ offer. If you’re interested in a second pair, it’ll only cost you a dollar extra.”

Mom: “Well honey, go grab another pair real quick!”

Seven year old: “Ugh, you go do it!” *throws the pair of jeans at her mother*

Mom: “Okay, what kind do you want? Something similar or a diff—”

Seven year old: “Oh, forget it! I’ll do it because you will take forever!”

(She snatches the jeans from her mother and storms off, as dramatically as only a child can manage.)

Me: “How old is she?”

Mom: “Oh, she’s seven. She’s just so independent. She’s something else isn’t she?”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am!”

(I’m working at my zoo’s snack shack. I have to clean the popcorn machine a bit before closing, or else I won’t be done by quitting time. This is approved by my supervisor.)

Woman: “Miss, I need some—oh, did you not make popcorn today?”

Me: “Well, I cleaned out the machine, but it’s bagged so they can use it for the animals tomorrow.”

Woman: “Can I still buy it?” *glances at her two very young children* “I’d have come earlier but they weren’t hungry yet. However, they are dead-set on popcorn.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s probably cold. Really cold.”

Woman: “I don’t care dear. How much? How’s five dollars?”

Me: “I really think there’s only two dollars with in the bag.”

Woman: “You get five for being so sweet!”

(I ring it up as two anyway, and let her put the change in the donation jar since we don’t take tips. The kids happily take the cold popcorn and start chowing down.)

Woman: “You’re a lifesaver, sweetie! And such good service!”

(When I take the ‘take-up’ to the gift shop, I see the woman with her kids, still eating the popcorn.)

Manager: “Good job. She’s really happy. Bought a mess of merchandise to thank us for hiring ‘such a nice girl!'”

(Both the kids hugged me on my way back out, too!)

(I work at a table that is set up at a farmer’s market every Sunday where I sell different deli meats. I also cater events and I am speaking to a couple in their 30s about possibly catering an engagement party. I am a caucasian female in my 20s.)

Me: “So, I can give you my business card if you’d like to discuss the options for your engagement party.”

Woman: “Sure, thanks!”

Man: “You’ve been so helpful!” *looks at name on business card* “Morgan Freeman? Are you seriously Morgan Freeman?”

Me: “Well, yes. That’s my name.”

Woman: “Are you the actor?”

Me: *laughing* “Haha, only on weekdays!”

Man: “No she’s not. What a liar! This is bulls***. You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

Woman: “Honey, it says right there on the card. So, are you the one that does all the narration? Like for the penguin movies?”

Man: “She’s a liar. We’re leaving.”

Me: “No. I’m not the African American male actor. But anyway, my email and phone number are on there for my catering business.”

Man: “Sorry, we don’t deal with liars.”

(He hauls his fiancée away.)

Woman: *turns around and literally yells* “DO YOU KNOW OPRAH?!”

(It is the opening of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. As it’s a major film, staff are allowed to relax the dress code and dress up in the theme of the film. Our most senior floor manager that day is wearing a Batman mask, cape, utility belt, and boots. He’s at customer service and I’m in concessions.)

Customer: “There is way too much salt in this popcorn. Are you trying to make my kids sick?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry you think the popcorn is too salty. Can I remake a batch for you without the flavoring salt?”

Customer: “I’m taking my kids to get tested and then I’m going to sue this theater!”

Me: “Because the popcorn was too salty?”

Customer: “Yes! I know you do it to drive drink sales, but this is immoral!”

Me: “An immoral amount of salt?”

Customer: “Yes! This is immoral, what you’re doing. You’re making kids sick! Now where’s your manager? I want to talk to an adult!”

(I’m 19. My manager in the Batman costume is 23.)

Me: “Ma’am, I am a manager. If you’d like, I can give you all the information to file a complaint with corporate.”

Customer: “No! I want to talk to an adult. Not a little girl!”

Me: “Okay, well, our most senior manager on staff is behind Customer Service.”

Customer: *looks around, but doesn’t realize who my manager is*

Me: “He’s the one dressed up like Batman.”

Customer: *turns and walks out of the theater without another word*

(Thankfully, we never got sued and never saw her again.)

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(It is Black Friday. I am waiting with my friend in a queue that wraps all the way around the store. After 45 minutes, we are almost to the front. A nearby rack catches my eye, and since I’m not purchasing anything, I step out of line. My friend and the customer in front of her watch me hold a sweater up.)

Me: *to my friend* “Hey, do you think this sweater’s cute? It’s the last one!”

Friend: “Definitely. I’ll hold your purse while you try it on!”

(I step away to remove my purse. Suddenly, the customer who’s been watching me dashes over, rips the sweater from my hands, and tries to duck right back into line!)

Customer: “Haha, sorry! Guess you weren’t fast enough!”

Friend: “Are you kidding me? I’m not going to fight you for that sweater, but there’s no way you’re cutting back in front of me.”

Customer: “Whatever. I didn’t even leave the line.”

(A nearby employee, who has seen the entire exchange, speaks up before I can say another word.)

Employee: *to the customer* “Ma’am, I just saw you step out of line. You need to go to the back of the queue.”

Customer: “No way! I’ve been waiting forever! It’ll take me another hour to check out!”

Employee: “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t let you buy anything from us at all!”

(The customer stomps all the way to the back of the store.)

Friend and Me: *to the customer* “Haha, sorry! Guess you just weren’t quick enough!”

This story is part of our Black Friday roundup!

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