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The customer is NOT always right!

It’s Not Unusual To Be Fake With Anyone

, , , | Right | June 24, 2008

(I work in the Asset Management Department for a provider of loans and mortgages. It means that I have to try over the phone to get money out of people who haven’t made their monthly payments in ages.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, is that Richard White?”

Customer: “Yeah, who’s this?”

Me: “Hello Richard, this is [My Name] calling from [Finance Company]. I just need to ask you some security questions before I proceed: could you please give me your date of birth?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Oh yeah… it’s… um… 3rd of December… 19… 74.”

(This is a completely different date of birth to what is on my screen.)

Me: “And you confirmed that you are Richard White?”

Customer: “No… my name’s… um… my name’s Tom.”

Me: “Tom?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Tom what?”

Customer: “Tom… Jones.”

Me: “But you just said you were Richard White.”

Customer: *hangs up*

Dora The Exploder

, , , | Right | June 23, 2008

Customer: “Hi, I’d like one of those balloons. The Dora one, please?”

Me: “Sure thing!”

Customer: “What do you fill those with? Propane?”

Me: “(!?) Uh, no. Helium.”

Customer: “Is it going to explode in my car?”

Me: “No, it shouldn’t…”


This story is part of our Even More Dangerous Parent’s roundup!

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Picking The Wrong Employee To Mess With

, , , | Right | June 23, 2008

(I had a severe headache from having been locked in the store overnight while the floor was being stripped. The store opened on time and the manager arrived in street clothes to help move displays back to the tile.)

Old Lady: “Do you want to look in my shopping bag?

Me: “No, ma’am, you’re fine.”

Old Lady: “LOOK IN MY BAG!”

Me: “I don’t need to.”

(The old lady comes over, opens it, and shoves it in my face.)

Me: “Okay, then…”

(I peeked in the bag and saw her groceries from another store.)

Old Lady: “What the h*** do you think you are doing? I’m not a thief! Where do you get off doing something like that! Just because I am old doesn’t make me a thief!”

Me: “What? Where do you get off coming in here and raising your voice at me?”

Store Manager: *quiet*

Old Lady: “There was no reason to look in my bag!”

Me: “I don’t know what your problem is, but you are going to take it with you and leave this store right now!”

Store Manager: *still quiet*

Old Lady: “You had no right to look in my bag!”

Me: “Ma’am, you demanded I look in that bag. Even the store manager heard you do it. I’m in no mood for your paranoid games. If you ever come back in here and treat any of my employees the way you have just treated me, I’ll escort you through that door so fast you’ll get whiplash.”

Old Lady: *huffs out*

Store Manager: “A little tired, are we buddy?”

It’s For A Really Long Game Of Musical Chairs

, , | Right | June 23, 2008

Man: “Hey! You guys are giving away 100 free tickets to the Friday show, right?”

Me: “Yep! We have 24 left, and each customer can take up to four. How many do you need?”

Man: “Awesome! Can I have the rest?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. The limit is four per customer.”

Man: “But they’re free… What do you care?”

Me: “I care that the line of people behind you get some as well. Would you like four tickets?”

Man: “Give me the rest! You don’t understand; I NEED them!”

Me: “Sir, the limit is four. I’m sorry.”

Man: “I want the rest! You have to give them to me! I’m a paying customer and I deserve it!”

Me: “The tickets are free, sir… and you can have four of them. Would you like four FREE tickets?”

Man: “I need the rest of them! Everyone in my party needs to have one!”

Me: “Well, I can offer you four tickets for free and a discount if you wish to buy more. How many people are in your party?”

Man: “It’s just me and my wife.”

Me: “…”

And Here, We See The Customer In His Native Habitat

, , | Right | June 23, 2008

(I was quietly working down my aisle when a disgruntled man stops at the end and looks at me.)

Me: *resumes working as he is making no advances*

Man: “Awwharhaghhsss!”

Me: *looks up*

Man: “TOMATO SAUCE!” *angry look*

Me: “Uhhhh…”

Man: *furious look*

Me: “…aisle 10!”