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The customer is NOT always right!

The Da Vinci Code 3: Running Out Of Conspiracies

, , | Right | March 24, 2008

(The store’s power went out one day so we were using a pocket calculator to figure out totals and writing up paper receipts.)

Customer: “I’m not ready to pay yet, but can you tell me what I will owe?”

(I punch some numbers into the calculator, which returns 26.595.)

Me: “Your total will be $26.59.”

(When the customer comes back to pay, the power has just come back on and our computer system is up and running so I enter her purchase information.)

Me: “Okay, the total comes to $26.60.”

Customer: “You told me $26.59 before.”

Me: “Oh yeah, it’s because it was something like 26.595 and I just truncated the number instead of rounding it, but the computer rounds automatically.”

Customer: “I find it very interesting that it would round in favor of itself.”

Me: “Um, that’s just how rounding works. If it had been 26.594 it would have rounded down.”

Customer: “I just find it very interesting that the customer loses out on this.”

Me: “…”

At Least She’s Being Honest

, , | Right | March 24, 2008

(A lady comes in with a bag of shirts.)

Lady: “I need to return these.”

Me: “Sorry we can’t take those back, they’re opened…”

Lady: “Why the h*** not!?”

Me: “You can only return the shirts if they’re unopened. It’s the store policy.”

Lady: “Bull-s***, you’re trying to rip me off! You’re supposed to take these back; they don’t fit my husband!”

Me: “If you read the policy you would know you couldn’t bring them back, ma’am.”

Lady: “What store policy?!”

(I point to the store policy above and behind me on a red sign in big white letters. The lady snatches the bag of shirts and starts stomping off. My manager, who was watching the whole time, finally says something.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, next time you should read the policy–”

Lady: *cuts off my manager* “I DON’T F**KING READ!!”

Why Dracula No Longer Bites Crackheads

, , , , | Right | March 24, 2008

(A very old man with a Dracula Transylvania accent comes into the store. I am standing in an aisle restocking something, easily spotted by anyone entering the store.)

Dracula: “HO HO HO!” *it’s summer btw* “Where is everybody? All hands on deck! Can’t I get some f**king help here?!”

Me bewildered: “Uhm, I’m right here. What can I help you with sir?”

Dracula: “I need new razor blades.”

Me: “Okay, they are right over here.” *leads him to display* “What kind of razor do you have?”

Dracula: “I don’t know! Why does that matter? How am I supposed to know that?”

Me: “Well, there are different blades for each kind of razor. If you can look through the razors we have and show me what it looks like, I’ll get you fixed up.”

(Dracula finds his razor and I find his blades.)

Me: “Do you want the four-count or the eight-count? The eight-count costs a bit more.”

Dracula: “Give me the eight-count! You think I want to come back here every day? No one works here!”

(I get the blades for him and start heading toward the checkout. He stops me and snatches the blades from me.)

Dracula: “I need to see them first to make sure they’re right! *starts to open them*

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t just open things. We matched them up to your razor. I’m sure they are right.”

Dracula: *opens them anyway* “They’re right!”

(He hands them to me and again I move toward the checkout. Again, he stops me.)

Dracula: “What are you doing? Those are open. I’m not buying them!”

Me: “Sir, you were the one to open them after I clearly told you not to. So you are buying these. Next time, don’t open things you don’t want.”

(He grabs another box of the shelf and snatches the open box from me. He tosses it onto a lower shelf and says…)

Dracula: “You need a display anyway! You should have a display so people know what they are buying!”

Me: “Sir, I’m fairly certain that our customers with children would not appreciate an open razor blade display!”

(I snatch them up and sell him the unopened box; at this point, I just wanted him out of the store. We dealt with Dracula twice more.)


This story is part of the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!

Read the next Even-Stranger-Customers roundup story!

Read the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!

Ah, Students

, , | Right | March 23, 2008

(A group of students comes into the bar dressed as cavemen, complete with wigs and squeaky plastic clubs.)

Caveman #1: *banging squeaky club on bar* “Ugg!”

Me: *stares at him in disbelief*

Caveman #1: “Ugg! Ugg!” *bang* *squeak*

Me: *still maintaining silence*

Caveman #2: “Are we getting service here or not?!” *bang* *squeak*

(A crescendo of grunting student cavemen start to bang each other on the heads with the squeaky clubs and proceed to upset the other punters.)

Me: “Right, that’s enough! You’re not getting f-ugg-ing served and you’re all f-ugg-ing barred!”

(The cavemen left only to be replaced by a group of student girls dressed as nuns. They all got a free drink.)

That’s A Latte Coupons

, , , | Right | March 23, 2008

(A woman had been coming in every day and paying for venti drinks with all the trimmings using service recovery coupons. This went on for about a year and a half, and finally, we were told to stop taking them from her. They were old, we had never given any to her, and she could not have acquired so many of them legitimately.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t take any of these coupons, they’re outdated.”

Coupon Lady: “…but I use these all the time. They always take them!”

Me: “They’re outdated. There are new ones now, and we’re not allowed to take the old ones anymore.”

Coupon Lady: *pays for her drinks, leaves*

(The next day Coupon Lady returns with her husband and tries the same thing.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I told you yesterday, we will not accept any more coupons from you.”

Husband: “I want to speak to your manager.”

(I go and get a manager; the husband commences shouting at manager.)

Manager: “You’ve been using these coupons almost daily since this location opened. We are not going to accept them anymore.”

Husband: “We know the man in charge! WE GOT THESE FROM THE HEAD GUY!”

Manager: “Sir, if you’d actually gotten these coupons from the man in charge, you would know that the man in charge here is a WOMAN.”


This story is part of the Confused-By-Coupons roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Times Retail Workers Got Short-Changed By Their Bad Customers

 

Read the next Confused-By-Coupons roundup story!

Read the Confused-By-Coupons roundup!