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The customer is NOT always right!

PEBCAK, Episode II

, | Right | March 27, 2008

(We get a LOT of calls like this.)

Caller: “I locked myself out of my computer, and I can’t get in and I need to get in! My password doesn’t work!”

Me: “Okay, we can do a password reset for you.”

Caller: “This is really important, I need to be able to log in!”

Me: “Okay, sir, no problem. Can you just verify your login ID for me?”

Caller: *verifies*

Me: “Okay, great. Now can you verify that your Caps Lock is not on?”

Caller: “What? That’s stupid, why would I… oh.” *silence*

Me: “Sir?”

Caller: “…it just worked all of a sudden, thanks.”

Me: “…”


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The (Mystery) State Of The Union

, , | Right | March 27, 2008

(I was an 800-directory operator. We weren’t information, we just gave you 1-800 numbers.)

Caller: “Excuse me, but what state is Kentucky in?”

Me: “Well, Kentucky IS a state.”

Caller: “Yeah, but what state is it in?”

Me: “Sir, it’s not IN a state. There are 50 states, and Kentucky is one of them.”

Caller: “Well, there’s 52 states if you count Alaska and Hawaii.”

Me: “There’s only 52 states if you count Alaska and Hawaii TWICE. But there’s only 51 if you don’t count Kentucky.”

Caller: *click*

A Woman Of Few Words

, , | Right | March 27, 2008

(I was in our technology support office when a housekeeping staff person, Donna, stopped by. There was no preamble to the dialog below.)

Donna: “Dr. Franklin gets e-mail in his office.”

Me: *nods*

Donna: “Alicia says she can check her e-mail in the office.”

Me: *nods*

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: “Nice.”

Donna: “Nice?”

Me: “Not nice?”

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: “I like e-mail, too.”

Donna: “You don’t have it?”

Me: “I do.”

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: *biting lower lip, uncertain what to say or do*

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: *glancing at the clock on the wall*

Donna: “I like to have e-mail.”

Me: “I like having e-mail, too, and I check it all the time.”

Donna: “Can I have it? I like to have e-mail.”

The 8th Sign Of The Apocalypse

, , | Right | March 27, 2008

Grumpy Old Man: “There’s too much salt in the shakers.”

Me: “…”

Grumpy Old Man: *picks up shaker to demonstrate*

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Grumpy Old Man: “THERE’S NO SHAKE ROOM!”

Me: “I’ll get right on that.”


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Scamming In Plain Sight

, , | Right | March 26, 2008

(A customer ‘drops’ a brick, giving it a little chip. He then proceeds to join the line.)

Cashier: “Hello, sir, how can I help?”

Customer: “There’s a chip in this brick. I’d like to get a discount please.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, only cracks or serious fractures would warrant a discount on bricks. A chip won’t damage the function or stability of the brick.”

(The customer proceeds to lift up the brick and forcefully drops it on the ground.)

Customer: “Now it’s broken! Can I get a discount now?”

Cashier: “No, but you can sure as h*** pay for that.”


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