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The customer is NOT always right!

Slightly Better Than The Answer To Life, The Universe And Everything

, , , | Right | September 18, 2008

Customer: “I want to buy some lottery tickets.”

Me: “Okay. Which game, and how many?”

Customer: “I don’t want to give away my secret plan!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t tell me what you want, I can’t sell you the appropriate ticket. I need to know what you want to get it for you.”

(There’s a long pause during which she just blinks at me and the clerks behind me.)

Customer: “… oh. Well, I’ll take two Super Lottos, then…”

*Prays For Baby*

, , , | Right | September 18, 2008

(I work at a company that sells parts over the phone. Customers need to get us a model number so we can help them find parts.)

Me: “The model number will be located right on the back of the TV.”

Customer: “I can’t see the back of the TV.”

Me: “Well, can you turn the TV around?”

Customer: “No, I can’t turn the TV around! It might fall on the baby!”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “Ugh, the baby is under the TV! If I turn it, it might fall on the baby!”

Me: “Well, can you move the baby?”

Customer: “Ugh, fine, I guess!”

(She got her part and the baby survived the exchange.)

Paging Leonidas To The Front Desk

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2008

Customer: “Look! My friend told me I could get this type of hammer at your store! Now go get it for me!”

Cashier: “Sir, I already told you… We don’t have ANY hammers back here that aren’t already stocked on the shelves.”

Customer: “LOOK HERE. F**K YOU! I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY BY SWITCHING OUT YOUR STOCKS! GET ME THIS HAMMER!”

(At this point, I come to the front of the store, overhearing what’s going on; note that I’m the manager.)

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes, sir! Your employee here is not doing what I tell her to!”

Me: “Well, you need to calm down and understand that we don’t have what you’re looking for. So maybe you should go back to shelves and check–”

Customer: “F**K THAT! IT’S NOT THERE, OKAY?! YOU NEED TO F**KING GET ME WHAT I ASK FOR!”

Me: “That’s it. Get out of my store.”

Customer: “What? NO!”

Me: “Sir, get out, or I have to take you out.”

Customer: “Then do it!”

(I go around the counter and approach the customer. I yank him by his collar & drag him to the door.)

Me: “Now, then… you wanna apologize and maybe come back in?”

Customer: “No! I just want my hammer! God, what is this madness?!”

Me: *puts the customer down*

Customer: *confused* “What is it?”

(I turn back to the cashier, who nods in approval. I then turn back to face the customer.)

Me: “Madness? THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!” *kicks customer out of store and slams door*

Airheaded

, , , | Right | September 17, 2008

(A man and his girlfriend are standing towards the front of the line to board an airplane. I’m a passenger who overhears their conversation.)

Airline Employee: “We are now boarding numbers 1 through 30.”

(The man begins to walk away, but his girlfriend stays put.)

Girlfriend: “Where are you going?”

Man: “They called numbers 1 through 30.”

Girlfriend: “But my number is 6!”


This story is part of the Overheard roundup!

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Shoplift And Drag And Haul Away

, , , , , | Right | September 17, 2008

(Furniture stores typically require the sales staff to discretely follow customers in order to be on hand if there are any questions.)

Me: “Welcome to [Furniture Store]. Do you see anything you like?”

Customer: “What’s that supposed to mean? What, you think I’m gonna take something? I got money. I don’t need to steal anything from your store.”

Me: “No, ma’am. I was just checking to see if you needed any help. I didn’t think you were trying to take anything.”

Customer: “I’m no shoplifter. I said I got money. What, you think I’m gonna try to take something outta here?”

Me: “It’s a furniture store, ma’am. If you can fit a loveseat in your pocket, you’re welcome to it.”


This story is part of the Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup!

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