Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered
The customer is NOT always right!

Bonus Points If He Manages To Tie His Shoes

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2008

Caller: “Yeah, I wanna come take the test to get into [trade college]. How I get there?”

Me: “Well, sir, where are you coming from?”

Caller: “Huh?”

Me: “Where are you located?”

Caller: “What?”

Me: “You are going to be coming here FROM somewhere. Where will you be coming FROM?”

Caller: “Oh. Um, [town west of Chicago].”

Me: “Okay, that’s very easy. We are right off the expressway.”

Caller: “Huh?”

Me: “We are right off the expressway. You take [expressway] west…”

Caller: “Huh? Suspretsway?”

Me: “EXPRESSWAY. You drive your car on it to get places. So you take the expressway west and get off the Wisconsin freeway junction…”

Caller: “Huh? Junction?”

Me: “Yes, the EXPRESSWAY meets up with another EXPRESSWAY at a JUNCTION and then you get on the Wisconsin….”

Caller: “Huh? West Carl Street?”

Me: “WISCONSIN. Like the state that is directly north of us.”

Caller: “…”

Me: “Sir?”

Caller: “Huh?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you are too dumb to take the test.” *click*

Maybe We Should Shellac Them Next Time

, , , | Right | October 21, 2008

Customer: “I’d like to complain about these donuts I bought.”

Me: “Okay, madam, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “They’re stale. I bought them, went to eat them, and they’re stale! I want my money back!”

Me: “Oh, I’m terribly sorry. Let me have a look at them and we’ll sort this out.”

(I look at the bad donuts.)

Me: “Ah, I see your problem, Madam. When did you buy these?”

Customer: “About two weeks ago. Why?”

Me: “Well, the use by date was about ten days ago which explains why they were stale.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “You have to eat them by the use by date or they’ll go stale. I can’t give you your money back.”

Customer: “This makes no sense! I didn’t get a chance to eat them so I want my money back!”

Family Values, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | October 21, 2008

Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Why haven’t I received my movie?”

Me: “Which one was it?”

(He gives me the name of the movie, and I check on the computer to see if that title is available.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, we don’t have it on stock yet, but we will have your copy by Wednesday.”

Customer: “But you have it already for rental!” *goes to the shelf and brings me one of the cases*

Me: “Yes, but those are for rental only. We receive a few copies for rental only, and a few days after we get the ones for sale.”

Customer: “Then give me this one.”

Me: “That one is exclusively for rental.”

Customer: “F*** it. I’m leaving!” *storms out of the store with the DVD*

Me: “Hey!”

(I call mall security. A few minutes later, a guard comes laughing to the store.)

Guard: “Is this the stolen DVD?”

Manager: “Yes, thank you.”

Guard: “We found him trying to get in his car and two kids were inside. When we got him the kids started to cry, but not because we were taking his grandpa into custody.”

Me: “Then why?”

Guard: *laughs* “They were crying because they weren’t getting the movie today.”

The Magical Mocha Phone

, , , | Right | October 21, 2008

(I used to repair phones for an office.)

Customer: “My phone is broken.”

Me: “Can you please describe the problem?”

Customer: “It’s broken.”

Me: “In what way?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Do you have a dial tone? Can you not dial a specific number?”

Customer: “Nothing happens. It’s broken.”

Me: “Where is your desk?”

Customer: “Second floor, cube [number].”

(Upon arriving, I find the phone with no lights, no dial tone, no anything. On a hunch, I ask…)

Me: “Did you spill coffee in it?”

Customer: “No!”

(I grab the phone, tilt it and coffee pours out.)

Me: “Huh.” *glares at customer*

Customer: “I DIDN’T spill coffee in it!”

Me: “Riiight.”

Bagging For Trouble

, , , , , | Right | October 20, 2008

(I was standing in line behind a group of girls who had bought a pack of pencils.)

First Girl: “Can we get a bag?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, I’ve already given you one. I’m afraid I can’t give you another.”

Second Girl: “Why not? The woman ahead of us got three bags!”

Cashier: “Yes, and all three of them were full. I can’t give you another bag.”

First Girl: “That is bull-s***! You gave her all those bags and can’t fork over one more for me?! ”

Cashier: “I’m sorry… no, I can’t. She needed the bags for the items she purchased. ”

(The third girl grabs a pack of gum and throws it on the counter.)

Third Girl: “Fine. If we get this, can we get another bag?”

Cashier: “No, you can fit that in your first bag. There are other customers wait–”

First Girl: “F*** you! You’re just doin’ this ‘cuz we’re teenagers! This is age discrimination!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but–”

Second Girl: “We want to see your manager!”

Cashier: “I need to help other customers in line. I’m sorry I can’t–”

First Girl: “You need to help me, b****! I’m asking you for a bag!”

Cashier: “Store policy is–”

Second Girl: “We don’t give a s*** about your store policy! Just give us a d***ed bag!”

(I was in a hurry and by this time I just wanted to get out. Figuring any plastic bag would do, I emptied one that I had already.)

Me: *to the girls* “Here, you can have this one. I don’t need it.”

Third Girl: “Excuse me? Did I ask YOU for help?”

Me: “No, but if it’s a plastic bag you want, I honestly don’t need it.”

Second Girl: “Would you mind your own business?”

Elderly Woman Behind Me: “Jumping Jesus, young lady, it’s a plastic bag! You could find one in a garbage can if you wanted it that badly!”